fade into you | shubman gill x ishan kishan

bruises

ishan was a mess. it had been a good 12 hours since shubman had last texted him or called or seen him. he allegedly left to go to a shoot at 10am followed by practise. and ishan had waited, and waited, and waited. scheduled to be back at 6, ishan watched the clock tick to 8, then 9, and 10 before finally deciding now would be an appropriate time to panic. his heart had pattered uneasily in his chest, coinciding with the rain tapping urgently outside. somewhere, deep inside, his shubman senses were tingling.

ishan had called everyone on the team, managers, sara, the coach, but to no avail. he had never shown up to practise. it was like shubman had vanished into thin air. he was walking from one end to the other of their shared hotel room, mind imagining the worst scenarios. what if he was hurt? what if he got stuck in the rain somehow and he's lost? what if he's dead? or even worse, what if virat bhai was lying and hes forcing him to do laps?

his thoughts were interrupted with a faint knock on the door. ishan wasn't sure if he had imagined it, with the rain pelting down, so he listened harder. knock knock knock. ishan raced to the door, almost tripping on the doormat. just before he opened it, he stood and contemplated. shubman ought to get scolded for putting him in so much anxiety.

he flew the door open, left hand out and eyes shut.
'ishan-'
'no, you are not allowed to explain. i can not BELIEVE you would do this to me! not a call, a text. am i that unimportant to you!'
'ishan'
'do you KNOW how terrified i've been all night! i've stayed up imagining every scenario that could have possibly led to you falling off the face off the earth! you can't just waltz-'
'ISHAN'
ishan finally opened his eyes, and at seeing shubman, he pounced onto him, wrapping his legs around his waist. shubman let out a sharp hiss, pushing him backwards. ishan fell on the floor with a thump.

shubmans eyes quickly widened. 'FUCK, ishan, ishan baby i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to'  he said, pulling ishan back up. and examining his body. but ishan couldn't hear a thing. because shubman. shubmans face.

shubmans face was marked with a huge bruise by his eye, his lip split open. ishans eyes trailed down, to his white shirt which had stuck to his chest from the rain. the transparent shirt showcased a variety of red, angry bruises on his stomach and chest. his knuckles were cut up.

ishan made his way back to shubmans eyes. shubman gave him a sheepish smile.
'you should've seen the other guy?' he chuckled nervously.
ishans eyes hardened immediately, taking a soft grip on shubmans arm, making sure not to hurt him. when they were back inside, ishan went in full systematic mode. he prepared a ice pack, bandages, antiseptic cream and water and made his way back to shubman who he had positioned in the middle of the room.
ishan dragged over a chair and commanded him to sit.
'drink' he demanded, placing the water bottle to shubmans lips.

shubman was too scared to say a word, obliging. when ishan got like this, all quite and composed, it threw shubman off. it was too much of a difference from the ishan he knew. it made him felt like a child who's gotten caught stealing something.
when shubman saw ishan struggling to get comfortable to treat his eye, he cleared his throat.
'you could, um, just so you're comfortable, you could sit on my lap' he suggested, keeping his eyes downcast
ishan shot his eyes at shubmans. shubman instantly felt smaller under his gaze.
'or you could not, which is totally chill as well, i just thought, you know-'
'shut up' ishan replied, slinging his leg across shubmans lap, sitting down.

after ishan felt satisfied with the how shubmans eye and lip looked, he travelled downwards. he pointed to shubmans chest.
'take it off' he said simply
shubman had been engrossed in the way ishan was working on his face, his lips slightly jutted out, his tongue sticking out in concentration, the way he pushed his hair out of his eyes periodically. everytime ishan got close enough for him to be able to feel his breath on his skin, shubmans breath would hold, as he prayed to every god he could think of that ishan couldn't feel his heart leaping out of his chest. ishans legs around his waist made him feel like he was going wild with desire, the way he grabbed shubmans face to move it making shubman think some unholy things. shubman was too lost in ishan, that his command left him startled.

'what? oh. take me to dinner first damn?' shubman tried to joke, but his lack of confidence was evident in his voice. ishans hard glare levelled him out. shubman obliged, unbuttoning his shirt and allowing ishan to see. ishan was emotionless.

as ishan got to work again, shubman realised something. ishan had yet to question him on why he was in this state. as shubman got back from training, after the incident, the rain pouring down his back, the main concern on his mind was how he was going to face ishan. he was anticipating a good old dispute, lots of screaming, arguing, disagreement, but would eventual dwindle down to ishan being in shubmans arms telling him how he really felt after the initial anger had subsided. somehow, this was worse.

shubman cleared his throat tentatively again.
'so, no interrogation? you don't care to know why you're having to do all this for me right now?' shubman asked carefully.
when there was no reply, shubman took ishans face in his hands, to force him to look straight at him.
'ishan-' he started, before he noticed the tears welling in ishans eyes. before he could say something, ishan had pushed himself out of shubmans grip.

' i don't care! if you don't care about yourself enough to not put yourself through this, why should i! you know shubman, sometimes i think i love you more than you love yourself, and while sometimes i think i can love you enough for both of us, when you go pull shit like this it makes me remember that i CANT! that you need to make the effort too! i've been waiting for you all day, to have you all to myself again, and you come home like THIS? what is this now, the third time this month? so no, shubman, no i don't want to know what stupid thing some stupid guy at the stupid shoot said to you, and i don't care who hit who first, i care about YOU!'

ishan was crying freely now, his fists clenched to his sides as he panted slightly. after a moment, he turned around and walked to the bedroom door, whispering a 'whatever' as he left the room.

the sound of the door slamming shut shook shubman out of his trance. he sighed, guilt clawing at him. he felt as though he had taken ishan for granted. every time shubman had his ridiculous disputes with some stranger or another, him being triggered by the slightest thing, he would come home to ishan, in full assurance that ishan would tend to his needs, with the usual banter and eventually cuddling to sleep. now he could see how unfair it was, how he had affected ishan without meaning to.

shubman stood outside the bedroom door, hesitating before finally knocking on the door.
'go away' came a quiet voice
'no'
'.....'
'fine'
shubman grinned, opening the door. the sight before him almost made him coo. ishan was curled into bed, facing him, his nose and cheeks red, silent sniffles filling the room.
' oh, baby' shubman whispered, climbing into bed. he placed a tentative arm around ishans waist, pulling him closer. ishan pliantly let himself be held.

'wait, did you end up in jail? where did you go?' ishan suddenly asked.
' no, i was on the streets'
'what'
'i was sitting on the side of the road, contemplating how i was going to face you'
' for 4 hours??'
'i mean, you are hard to handle when you're riled up'
'am not'
'are too'

after a minute of silence, ishan spoke again
'are you not going to apologise?'
'no'
ishan huffed, pushing him away and almost turning around.
'wait, wait listen!' shubman said with urgency
'i wont apologise because that asshole deserved it. he was running his mouth about you. i was there for a photoshoot and that turdface had so much fucking nerve'
ishan stifled a chuckle from shubmans choice of words.
shubman sighed.
' but i am so sorry that i made you feel this way. yes, i admit, my way of handling problems is not effective, or does it help. i'm too impulsive, i took advantage of how lenient you were with me. but ishan, now that i know, i promise you. i promise you no more of this silliness. i wont ever ever come home with bloody knuckles or bruises on my body. you're more important to me than the words those fuckers throw'

ishan listened silently. after a pause he turned around again and buried his face in shubmans chest.
'okay'
'okay?? no fight?'
'no'
'....'
'but if you break your promise, i'll be the one giving you those bruises'
'okay' shubman smiled. there was his ishan.

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thank you for 50 reads! do feel free to leave requests please, i would love to hear what you think. i know i said weekly updates, but i'm feeling very inspired, and i'm also on holiday, so i wont be as frequent once school begins. also, i have posted two sick type angsty fics in a row, so maybe the next chapter will be more fluff to even it out. we will see. stay tuned!! ❤️