Fan Service [Chan]

Chapter 41

"Never," Chan told me. "None of us have dated someone publicly before. It's my fault." He kept repeating, and it broke my heart to hear him sound so guilty over something that he had no control over.

"I chose to fake date you. I chose to real date you. If it's your fault then it's my fault too," I argued, sitting up.

"You didn't want to go get drinks at the hotel," he reminded me, getting up as well. "I should've let you leave when you asked. Then you wouldn't have had the guy at the breakfast bar attack you. You wouldn't have gotten hurt by my fans. And you wouldn't have almost gotten killed tonight."

"Chan, I'm okay," I reassured him.

"For how long?" he argued. "How long until you actually do get hurt again or killed?"

I stared at him. He was right "I don't know," I admitted. I had just nearly been killed. I'd already been hurt.

"Me either," he whispered. He could barely look me in the eye. When he did, it was as though it pained him to do so. He took my hand. "I'm sending you home tomorrow."

"What?" I stared at him. Had I misheard him?

"I'm sending you home. I'm announcing our breakup. And you'll never have to hear from me again."

"Chan, I want to stay with you. I want to be here for you. I want to help the others get out of fan service. You can't just send me away because you're afraid I might get hurt again," I fought.

"Yes, I can. And I am," he said coldly.

"Then I'll just show up to the shows. Make you see me. It's my choice to be here."

"I already had Dmitri book you a ticket back to Boston," Chan ignored my threat. "He'll drive you to the airport tomorrow morning."

"Chan," I cried. "Stop it!"

"I wired money into your account because I know that it's my fault your reputation and company got screwed up. I'm sorry I never got to help you fix it," he continued.

"Please look at me," I begged.

"If you need more, just text Dmitri, and he can relay the message to me." His voice was so monotone and detached.

"You really want this? After everything you're just going to throw me away like I don't matter to you?"

"Maybe you don't matter to me," he said, finally turning to me. I knew it was an attempt to hurt me and push me away, making it easier for me to leave him behind. It stung nonetheless. Especially after everything we'd done together.

"You don't mean that."

He shrugged. His eyes were dark like they were that first night we had met. Chan had on his mask.

"I do."

"You don't. You're just trying to push me away, but I know you. I know that you care about me."

His face was stone as he watched me explain away his harshness.

"You mean nothing to me," he repeated. It felt like a stab to my heart.

"If that were true, you wouldn't have slept with me. You wouldn't have been so gentle and sweet. You wouldn't have stopped earlier when I asked. You care," I argued as I sobbed.

"I don't have to care about you to not be a rapist, Ella," he spat.

I looked into his eyes. The Chan I'd come to know was buried in there so deeply that I couldn't see him.

"Besides," he continued, "you were just a distraction to get me out of fan service."

"If I was just a distraction then you wouldn't be so upset that I almost got killed," I cornered him.

"If you'd gotten killed the media would've berated me as a bad partner who didn't save you. I'm tired of saving you."

Each argument he made was meaner than the last. I just stared at him in shock at how he could come up with such horrible things to say to me.

"You're leaving tomorrow."

I shook my head in disbelief. "Don't."

"What's done is done, Ella," Chan whispered.

What's done is done.

The words made my jaw clench, and my heart stopped beating as my blood turned to ice. I blinked back tears.

Chan said nothing more. He knew it was the final nail in the coffin.

He stood and left the room, leaving me alone.