Jimmy Urine x Reader 👉👈

The Wedding

It was finally the day, it was your wedding! The day you'd get married to a 54 year old man, the day he would get married to a random 18 year old girl that acts like she's on steroids-!! You were beyond excited, you felt like you were gonna shit yourself. 

Jimmy looked beautiful, his hairline was so much more visible then when you met him, he was already balding🥺. His hair looked like it was ready to fall out, and he already looked old as hell ngl. But you still loved him, anyways.

The priest or wtv that thing is called was holding the rings, he was reading out of the bible. (Idk how weddings work at all btw). Jimmy smirked aggressively, looking at you menacingly. You looked right back at him. It was then time for you guys to read your vows. 

"Jimmy, my alpha wolf, my hybrid demon singer thing, my piss princess, my weirdo... I'm beyond glad I saw your ass on a bill board, otherwise I wouldn't have known what a lame weirdo you really are... I'm so glad I came to your house even though your wifi was home, I'm so happy your last wife left you for the lorax, I love doing backflips on the couch with you. I can't wait to be with you until you're in a nursing home being known as a Peepaw..." You say with tears in your ass.

"Y/n... My weirdo, my little stalker, my omega, my pookie... I'm so glad you stalked me, I'm so happy you randomly found my address and put it to use, I'm beyond glad you saw my beautiful ass on a bill board. I'm so happy that my wife brought that oven to court because now we have a ceiling we can munch on while we watch chimpanzees throwing it back out the window... I'm ready to stay with you until I'm on life support..." Jimmy said seductively. 

The priest wiped tears from his eyes and forehead, it was so emotional... The 5 people in the marriage room was also wiping tears from their eyes and forehead, you guys highered random people to your wedding btw. Your parents & entire family was NOT happy with your marriage choices, so they didn't show up. 

After the wedding you both went to Jimmy's house, you cooked him some food and he did backflips on the couch. You both heard a knock at the door, a man stood outside your door. It was an FBI agent...

"James Euringer?" The man said.

"Thats me!!" Jimmy cheered happily. The man took a photo of him at the door, Jimmy had no time to figure out what he was doing, nor did he know why he was taking a photo. Jimmy looked absolutely stupid in the photo. Jimmy came back in after the man left.

"My pookie! Someone just took my photo!" He said happily.

"Yeah, you just got served" You responded.

"Served? Like served dinner?" He asked, confused. 

"...What" You replied.

"Uh... Oh that court case is still happening, isnt it..?" He said, the situation beginning to get a little awkward.

"Yeah... You didn't forget to attend court, did you...?" You asked.

"Uhhh...."