Remorse and Regrets

Chapter 17

Lifting his face to meet his eyes, he asked again

" WHY?"

" For BADE PAPA... "

The words crudely spat out had the power to draw blood.

"He didn't want another scandal....." Dhru mockingly trailed off

" And you made the ultimate sacrifice...."

Niranjan didn't even try to keep the derision out of his voice

Dhru closed his eyes in shame.

Even knowing he was crossing a line he couldn't stop the words that left his mouth

" I know what I am doing , Bhaiya. Jhiske bhare me jaanthe nahi, uske bhare mein bholena ka bhi haq nahi...I can manage my life...Better if, you dont interfere"

Niranjan literally staggered back. His best friend, his partner in all that matters is asking him to stand back.

Their eyes met. Both conveying their own story of pain.

Niranjan wanted to provide him comfort but the words remained between them as an invisible barrier.

Without another word, Dhru walked away leaving behind Niranjan, shattered and hurt to the core.

Even after all these years, the moment is etched deeply into his heart. It had felt like he was loosing another part of him.

The hurt was so deep that he closed off that part of his heart forever. But unknowingly it meant that he disappointed a girl who looked up to him.

"Papa...."

Niranjan turned towards the sound.
Ansh was tossing Gauravi high up in the air and her giggles filled the silent night.

It was a heartwarming picture.... a one which he swear to protect at any cost.

5 years ago, he failed his family but not anymore....

*****

After a long time, she enjoyed herself. It felt so good to laugh without any restraint. Thanks to Ansh.

But as soon as his name sprang to mind, the past too made it's presence known.

" Sadhavi...."

" Dhruvah...do you know...."

" Did Chotu came back last month?"

Dhru interrupted Sadhavi.  The seriousness of his voice was not lost to Sadhavi.  She gulped down the nervousness and with a quick prayer , replied with all the confidence she could muster.

" No....why...wo..uld he..? He will.. ll be coming at the end of..this...month, right?"

She was glad that she was on phone, if not it won't take a second for Dhru to catch her lie.

They had been prepared for this eventuality so she was not surprised with the call. But she was not prepared for the guilt assuaging her for the lie she told her Dhruvah.

Only if she knew what would ensue , then she would have never uttered the cursed words

"One Hot Chocolate for your thoughts"

Sadhavi turned to see Nandhini standing with a mug of hot chocolate .

Inadvertently tears welled up in her eyes, the memories of the past that have gushed up didn't help the matter.

"I didn't know you will get this emotional over hot chocolate "

Nandhini tried to lighten the atmosphere but seeing Sadhavi's downcast face, she released a resigned sigh.

" Bhabhi, till when are you going to live in the past. When we both are saying , it was never your fault , why is it so difficult for you to believe?"

" I am fine , Nandhini "

Sadhavi tried to escape from the situation but to no vain.

" You are not....You are still...."

She was suddenly interrupted by Sadhavi.

"I know what I have done, Nandhini . Even though your words have lifted a heavy burden from my heart. I am not able to forgive myself. The fact of the matter is I LIED"

" You were forced to..."

Nandhini stated vehemently

"Why are you forgetting that part of the truth,Bhabhi?  You were reluctant....It was Ansh who convinced you.... Nobody could have predicted that an adventure would take such a tragic turn. If you have to point fingers, then first it should be directed at us for hiding it in the first place. In hindsight, I could recognise our misstep but then neither situation was in favor nor age. We also reacted impulsively. But never in our wildest dreams,  did we imagine that Bhaiyu would blame you or you will be drowning yourself in guilt"

" He was right to blame me, Nandhini"

Nandhini scoffed at her subdued acceptance

" Repeat a lie a thousand times and it becomes the truth....I am seeing the proof in front of my eyes....." Nandhini stopped till she was sure that she had Sadhavi's attention before continuing

"Just like Bhaiyu called you, Bhaiya called Ansh"

Sadhavi gasped at the implication.

" No...." A tortured whisper emitted from her

Smiling sadly Nandhini confirmed.

" Yes , Bhabhi. So if you consider yourself my culprit then don't that make Ansh also my culprit? Should he also live all his life in guilt?"

Sadhavi didn't have any answer for her question but Nandhini's next words had the power to instill the seed of doubt in her mind.

"What happened was unfortunate but your yes or no would not have changed  my destiny..... Sometimes things are not just black or white , they fall in grey too..."

Nandhini turned to go but then swung around suddenly to give Sadhavi a bone crushing hug.

Before Sadhavi could react , Nandhini was gone leaving her in a emotional mess.

*****

" Do you think it will work?"

" It will , Nandhu.... I know my Avi.... Once she is out of her guilt mode , then god help my Bhaiyu" 

"I didn't expect this from Bhaiyu. How could he hurt Bhabhi, Ansh?"

Nandhini's  eyes filled up recollecting what all Ansh had told her.

If it is paining her so badly on just hearing, it must have been torture for Sadhavi.

" Me too.... Nandhu.... me too... But I promise you, Avi will move forward leaving behind her guilt, whether with Bhaiyu or not, it will be up to her. But no matter what happens , Ansh will always stand by her, even against his Bhaiyu....