It was the night of Xaden's graduation. All of the wings and quadrants had a huge party to celebrate the third years leaving to fight in the war.
I stuck around with my friend group, letting Xaden wander around and hanging out with practically everyone.
He's so much more social than me.
I'm still upset at him for not telling me the truth about everything, but he can't help it, and he apparently has to keep some secrets from me. I want to forgive him, but it's just so hard when others know everything and I don't.
"When do you think you and him will say your goodbyes?" Rhiannon asks me as I stare at him.
"I don't know, probably after the party. I want it to just be us." I reply with a sigh. God, I'm going to miss him so much.
Due to Tarin and Sgaeyl being mater I get to see him once a week. It's going to be a problem, though, because mates can't be separated for more than three days, but we're going to try to make it work.
The most annoying part about all of this is how grumpy both dragons are, knowing they'll be separated for longer periods of time for now on until I graduate.
"Are you okay?" Ridoc asks me a few minutes later, noticing the look on my face.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I reply with a smile, looking around at everyone.
"You know it's okay to say you're going to miss him, right?" Rhiannon asks me, "We all know how you two are."
"I'll be fine. I'll still see him once a week." I reply, smiling slightly, "Let's just focus on having a good time right now, and I'll worry about what's to come later."
The group nods, and the party continues as usual.
~
I try to stay as sober as possible, only having a cup or two of whatever their serving. the last thing I want is for my goodbye to be half drunk.
I keep glancing over at Xaden every once in a while, and I can tell he looks over at me, too.
At this point, we're basically communicating with our eyes.
"Make sure to meet me when the party's over," Xaden tells me in my head.
"You know I wouldn't forget to." I reply, looking at him dead in the eyes, and I can tell some people are confused.
"And you better not cry because you know how that makes me feel." Xaden reminds me.
he hates it when I cry.
"You know I most likely will no matter what you say." I reply to him, with a slight laugh to hide the pain in the voice.
"I know you will. I know you too well not to know you cry about almost everything." He replies, almost teasing like.
"You know I don't want you to leave, right?" I ask suddenly.
"I know, and I don't fully want to leave either." Xaden replies.
"That's such a lie. You always talk about wanting to leave." I say, with a laugh.
"But I'll only see you once a week." Xaden reminds me.
"I know." I say simply. "Go back to talking with your friends."
"You know I can easily talk to you and them at the same time, right?" He asks sarcastically.
"I know, but go focus on them." I reply.
"I'll talk to you later, Y/n." Xaden says.
~
The party ended, and everyone headed back to their dorm rooms.
Xaden and I snuck out of our dorms and headed close to the Parapet.
"Hi," I say, not really knowing what to start with.
"Hey," Xaden replies, looking down at me.
"Are you packed?" I ask, tilting my head.
"Yeah, the new third years get too anxious and want to switch rooms immediately. Plus, they kick all of us out first thing in the morning." Xaden tells me.
I bite the inside of my cheek to hold back my tears.
"Don't cry, Y/n, we'll see each other one a week because of our dragons." Xaden reminds me, and it doesn't help.
I shake my head, "It doesn't matter, I don't get to see you every day." I reply, my voice cracking.
I know I sound super clingy, and that's because I am. Sure, sometimes there's nothing I'd rather do than kill him, but I still love him no matter what. He's literally connected to me.
"I know." Xaden says, his voice sounding hurt as well.
"Are you about to cry?" I ask, laughing, trying to brighten the mood a bit.
"No! I don't cry, you know that." Xaden says, but I look up at him and see his eyes watery as well.
"Sure, whatever you say." I reply with a slight laugh, hugging him softly.
I hear Xaden mumble something into my shoulder, but I don't say anything about it.
"This is going to be a big change, but we'll get used to it. There's only two more years, and then we'll see each other every day, I can promise you that." Xaden says, and I smile into his chest.
"I don't think I'll ever get used to it." I whisper.
"I won't either." Xaden admits, and we both laugh.
God, we're look like an absolute wreck.
Thank God no one is out here besides us.
"Wait, can you sleep in my room tonight?" I ask him. "Since all your stuff is already packed up-"
"Of course I will." Xaden replies with a smile.
~
Xaden and I head back to the my room and quickly change before heading into my bed.
We lay down next to each other, his arms immediately wrapping around my waist and his chin in the crook of my neck.
"I love you, Y/n." Xaden whispers, closing his eyes.
"I love you too, Xaden." I whisper back.
~
I wake up and turn to face Xaden, but he's gone.
In replace of him is flowers and a note from him.
He's really gone.
