Daddy Issues

24 - Sweet as honey

It was a good idea of him to get out of the house. Though it hasn't disappeared completely, the fresh air and bright sunlight have done wonders for my headache. And we haven't talked about Jack or Keith since this morning. The animals around us and casual chit-chat with Dan have been a welcome distraction and the anxiety and dark thoughts that have been going through my mind ever since we ran into Jack have finally sunk to a more shallow level.

The only thing I can't ignore anymore, is the way I feel about Dan. It baffles me that he went out of his way to find me yesterday and that he's not even angry about anything. Only concerned. And now he's taking me out to lift my spirits.

No guy I dated has ever done things like that for me. Probably my own fault. I always chose to date guys that I knew I wouldn't really fall in love with. Keeping things casual keeps things safe. But now I can't help but wonder what life would be like with someone like Dan. Someone who looks after you, gets concerned about you. Takes real interest and makes you laugh. And also happens to be undeniably handsome.

There's a smile on his face as he looks at the giraffes which brings out those cute dimples in his cheeks. He scratches absent-mindedly at the beard that he keeps trimmed short, but never shaves off all the way. I'm not even usually a big fan of facial hair, but somehow it looks so good on him. And am I weird to find even his hands attractive? It hurts to see them bruised like that from punching Keith. I still can't believe he did that either.

'Look, there's a baby,' he says, pointing into the habitat, entirely oblivious to my staring.

I follow his finger and find the adorable little thing, hiding behind its mother. It brings a smile to my face too. Though perhaps it is also just in response to Dan's enthusiasm. I must have dated too many toxic guys to be surprised by a man getting thrilled by the sight of adorable baby animals.

'Bree would have freaked out,' he says suddenly. 'She loved giraffes.'

The thought of his loss wipes the smile right off my face. I'm not great at talking about emotional things. Surprising, I know. But he did say he loves to talk about her. So it's the least I can do for him.

'She did?'

'Oh yeah. Whenever we took her to the zoo, we could have stayed right here for hours if it was up to her. Had to drag her away screaming one time because I wanted to see some penguins.'

I laugh at the mental image of Dan getting progressively grumpier about having to stay in the same spot for hours until finally hoisting the toddler up on his shoulders to see the penguins.

'It was alright by the time we got there. She liked penguins too,' he tells me with a reminiscent smile.

'You took her to the zoo often?' I ask. His eyes light up when he talks about his daughter. I still can't imagine the pain he must have gone through. It's really amazing how he's managed to work through it and be such a nice, positive person after suffering such a horrible loss.

'As often as I could. I could never get Jesse to come with me before we had her, but with Bree, I had a solid excuse.'

'I didn't realize you liked animals that much,' I say, chuckling lightly.

'What's not to like about them? Look at that, that's fucking adorable.'

I chuckle again as I look at the baby giraffe taking a few hesitant steps away from his mother on its spindly legs.

'Did you know that my mom hates swearing?' I ask him. 'How the hell does that work out between the two of you?'

'Oh, I know,' he grins. 'But she thinks I'm very cute, so she forgives me.'