Another Chance for Lives

Until Next Time, Hastinapur

DRAUPADI

I stay with my husbands most of the time after their arrival, meeting people who are here to attend the swayamvar. Matashree Kunti was right to some extend, ever since its decided that my marriage life with Yudhisthir will start soon, the other four brothers are becoming moody. Specially Arjun, he never leave my side anymore. He keeps telling me how much he hate the situation we are in right now. I try to console him and he always says he's waiting for the day when I will be his wife only. He make plans for our future. We will stay in Khandavprasth until its fully established and when Yudhisthir becomes an emperor, Arjun will stay with me in the forest for some years to have some peace. He's the only one who talks to me like this, the only one who makes plan for our future, just the two of us. The only who says that after I do my duty as a wife to 4 of his brother, he will make sure that I remain as a namesake wife for others. I once ask him why he says that and he say he can't watch me like this and moreover we are made for each other, should be each other's only in every form, even in death. He says, "Panchali, if you love anyone more than me, I know I won't be able to live. You are my soulmate." 
His words does make me smile, makes me feel better, a ray of hope that after some years I won't be in hell that looks like heaven anymore.

The day before Duryodhaan's marriage, I sit with my husbands and matashree Kunti. We will leave day after tomorrow but matashree will come later. Krishna is also here with Dao to attend the wedding, they went to meet Pitamah. A maid enters and informs us that the King Govasen of Shivi, who is here to attend the marriage wants to talk to Yudhisthir. We welcome him. He came with his daughter Devika and he tells matashree Kunti. "I came here with a request, my daughter Devika wishes to marry you first son Maharaj Yudhisthir. Please accept her as your daughter-in-law." 
I am not surprise at his proposal for his daughter, what shocked me was the response of my mother-in-law and  husband. 

"I am happy to accept her, but I can't talk speak for my son. If he accepts her, why would I have a problem in having such gem as my daughter-in-law." My mother-in-law, who said I would be making the decision for his sons' personal life grant the permission just like that. 

My husband, dhaarma raj Yudhisthir, tells, "I would gladly accept her hand Maharaj Govasen but my married life with my first wife Draupadi has not started, I have to fulfil my duty towards her first, after that I will come to Shivi myself to ask her hand." 

I won't lie and say I am 'in love' with any of my husband right now. But I do love them. I gave away the love I am supposed to have for them to someone else. However I am doing everything I can do as a wife. I agreed when they say I should be the wife of all of them, I agreed when they asked me to forget what Rishi Vyas said about staying as namesake wife for 4 of them and be in a marriage life with just one of them. I am not finding excuse for not loving them enough but I know that even if I had not love Karn, it would have been hard to love my husbands instantly. 
How can I love them when I am suppose to love all 5 of them equally? But I am willing to try, I will be a faithful wife, I won't break the promise I made to my husbands in my swayamvar. 

Since Arjun tries to spend his time with me, I do feel better about him more than the rest. I feel like I have got a friend in him. He does care about me more than others and it shows.

Arjun reminds Yidhisthir about the promise they made to me, "Jyesth, ask for Panchali's permission first, after all we have submitted our freedom to her." 
Everyone looks at me, I just awkwardly smile. Matashree Kunti says, "A kshatriya marries multiple times in his life. I am sure Draupadi will understand." 
How can I stop them from marrying again when I myself have 5 husbands.

Yudhisthir tells King Govasen, "Maharaj, we 5 brothers have promised Draupadi that if we marry again, none of our other wives would stay in our Kingdom or the palace, and that she will always be the queen wherever we become King. So even if I marry your daughter, I can't bring her to my palace. And after us, Draupadi's child will be the King."