Chameleon - Shoto ASD fic -

25

'He doesn't want to, okay?' Deku says angrily. 'Just leave him alone'. 

There's a loud silence, as Deku rocks me gently from side to side. 'Fuck this' Natsuo says, and I hear him leave through the front door. I hear another pair of footsteps lightly come to a stop, then I smell cinnamon.

'Shoto, does anybody know about this?' I nod my head. 'Yeah, he's getting help' Deku says. 'I'm glad to hear it' Aoto says.

There's another awkward silence. 'Do you think he'll come back?' Deku asks. Aoto sighs. 'Not sure. When he's angry he gets quite a temper.'

'Just like Endevour' I say quietly. There's a knowing silence.

'Listen, you guys head back to UA. I'll talk to him'. I lift my head from Deku. 'You sure?' I ask him. He nods. 'Absolutely. He just needs to cool off'.

'Ironic really' I say. And then everyone bursts into laughter.

-later-

Deku is spooing me, but the bad thoughts keep coming.

You've let down your brother. He doesn't love you anymore. Nobody from your biological family wants you.

'This might sound bad Sho, but I'm really hoping Aoto only saw you hurting yourself'. It takes a while for the cogs to whir in my brain.

OH SHIT.

'Yeah, would suck if he saw what happened after'. Deku nudges me in the back. 'Stop making jokes about this!' He says. I burst out laughing. 

'Well blow me!' I say. Suddenly, I feel him tickling me.

'Stop making dirty jokes!' He says.Through the dark I just about see his face bright red from embarrassment.

'Never!' I say back, trying to return the tickles. However, Deku is a lot stronger than me and pins me down.

Oh god. Not again. So hot.

We stare at eachother, motionless.

'You're beautiful Shoto' He says. My turn to blush. 'S-stop!' I say, trying to turn my face away to the side. He giggles. 'Absolutely not. You are the kindest, most honest, most beautiful person I've ever seen'.

I stick out my tongue. He leans down, kissing me, and I immediatly melt under his touch.

Soon he won't love you anymore. Who could love someone who looks like a barcode?

I try and block out the voice, but it comes back stronger.

He doesn't love you, he's using you. He knows you're vulnerable right now and desperate for love.

I shake my head. 'Sho what wrong?' He asks me. 

'Deku, why do you put up with me?' I ask. He looks shocked, but I don't understand why.

'What do you mean?' He asks. 'Like, I don't understand why you would date somebody weird like me when there's plenty of normal people who like you'. He double blinks.

'Where is this coming from Sho?' He asks, cupping my face.

You're stupid, ugly, worthless, pathetic, autistic...

'I'm broken'. I know I've fucked up when he begins crying. Shit.

'You're not broken' he sniffles. 'You're perfect the way you are'.

'I'm not through, am I? Because if I was perfect I wouldn't try and slice my neck and bleed out in an alleyway somewhere'.

His eyes open wide, and now I realise he never knew the specifics of what I did.

'Y-you did what?' He whispers. I push him off me, heading towards the door.

'Forget I said anything' I say. 'Sho wait-' he grabs my arm. I sling it off me. 

You need to make him realise how messed up you are. He deserved to know.

'I FUCKING CREATED A BLADE OF ICE, SLICED MY NECK SO BLOOD POURED OUT AND DIED IN AN ALLEYWAY AS MIC AND AIZAWA CRIED OVER MY LIFELESS BODY'. I say. I turn around so I don't have to see his face.

I open the door, and am met with the shocked face of Backugo, poised to knock.

'What the fuck do you want fuckface?' I yell at him. He just continues to stare at me. I've never seen him so quiet.

I push past him, heading up the stairs and into my own room, slamming the door.

Do it again.

I don't want to. 

You don't deserve to be alive. Kill yourself.

Suddenly there's a knock on my door. 'Open up Icy Hot, now'. 

'Go fuck yourself' I say in response, putting my headphones on and listening to death metal. I can hear the consistant banging on the door. I just turn the music up louder.

Suddenly, my earphones are being yanked off my head.

'WHAT THE FUCK' I yell, opening my eyes, seeing Backugo. 'Deku is absolutely bawling his eyes out downstairs. Mind telling me what the fuck you did to make him cry?!' 

I hold his gaze. 'I just told him the truth. And don't act so innocent, I know you fucking heard'. I say. He sighs. 'yeah okay fine, I heard, but why the fuck did you tell him like that?'

'Like you're one to talk. I know how you used to treat him'. I sneer in response. He looks absolutely shocked.

'Now would you please fuck off?' I say.

'Why, you planning on doing something?' He says, taking a step towards me. 'I can't let you do that'.

'Stop trying to be a fucking hero Katsuki.' I say, grabbing for my headphones again. He grabs my wrist. 

'Shoto, are you a risk to yourself right now?' He asks sternly. 

Yes you are. You want to die because he won't love you now he knows how insane you are. You're a burden to Mic and Aizawa, and you family hates you. 

And then I have a terrible idea. 

'You used to bully Deku all the time. I mean, you gave him his name, right?'

'S-shut up' He says gruffly. I can see him starting to sweat.

'Poor poor Deku. Bet you're glad he didn't take your advice on taking a swan dive.' I feel the sweat drip down his arms. 

'Otherwise, he'd have fallen to his death, bones crunching on asphult, blood splattering against the stones...'

Suddenly, I go in to punch Backugo, and he responds by using his quirk in defence. This ignites the sweat pooled around the green bracelet, setting it on fire. It falls off.

He looks at me, shocked. I smile.

'Now fuck off, prettty please?'