Downfall
Kinabukasan, tanghali akong nagising at hindi inaasahang makikita siya na nandoon pa rin. Umangat ang kilay ko lalo na't sanay akong nawawala na siya tuwing umaga. Maybe he has no work or whatever, but... why is he still here? Guilty 'to. May kasalanan nga.
Naglalaro sila ng PlayStation ni Jester. Deritso nga lang ako sa kusina dahil gutom na rin. Ngumisi si Lala at makahulugan ang tingin sa akin, palingon lingon kay Rade na tumitingin tingin din sa akin.
"Hindi pa rin kayo bati?" she asked in her invested expression, like we were her favorite drama and she's eager to finish it.
Ngumisi lamang ako kay Lala at umupo. I boredly ate and decided to busy myself on the phone.
"Kuya!" saway ni Riri.
"Oh, sorry," agap ko nang mapagtantong ako rin ang bumabali ng rules ko dito sa bahay.
I don't want them to eat while distracted by their phones, so I'm practicing to show them I'm not invested in it either.
May kung anong sinabi si Rade kay Jester. Tumayo si Jester at lumapit agad sa akin, hinihila ako at ibinibigay sa akin ang controller.
"Ikaw muna, kuya! I'm gonna pee!" rason niya eh halatang kinasabwat lang.
So I took my plate with me and put it on the center table as I took a seat beside him.
"Kuya!" Riri called again when she looked at my plate.
"Wait lang, Riri. Nagpapa sub si Jester," agap ko at tiningnan ang flatscreen TV.
I could sense Rade's glances at me. He placed his phone on the side of my plate. Bumaba ang tingin ko doon at nakita ang screen na nasa Facebook profile niya.
"Verena's birthday was yesterday. Pumunta ako around 6 PM para respeto lang at bumati. The second photo was actually me telling her I needed to go since I'd be going to Batangas. Hindi ko alam may ganoon pa lang picture. Ngayon ko lang nakita," he suddenly explained.
Hindi ako nagsalita. I didn't ask, though.
"You blocked me." He looked at me submissively.
I licked my lips. Nagkasalubong lang ang kilay ko at nanatili ang tingin sa flatscreen TV.
Bakit muna nandito pa siya? Hindi ba dapat umalis na siya?
"Kung kukunin mo ang motorbike, ibibigay ko ang susi. Ayoko nang may naiisip na kung ano ano si Lala kaya ka balik nang balik dito," malamig kong sabi habang nakasentro ang tingin sa TV.
"When you were jealous of the past, you ghosted me. So...nothing changed? You still...keep a distance?" may panunuya sa tinig niya.
My brow shot up. Jealous, my ass.
"What do you want me to do? I didn't play behind your back, though. Verena is just a friend. Hindi rin ako nagtagal sa party. Though I took some shots, that's it. I immediately left," he explained more persistently.
Hindi ako umimik. I hate this feeling. Though I knew he was telling the truth, there was a hollow feeling in my stomach, and I knew where it was coming from.
Kinuha niya ang phone at in-untag ang sarili niya doon. I rolled my eyes since he's making a big deal out of it. Sino bang nagbibig deal? Wala naman? Kahit nga makita kong nakakandong pa sa kanya si Verena, ilalike ko pa 'yan.
"What's your plan for your upcoming birthday? Riri mentioned it."
Hindi ako sumagot.
"You wanna go to the beach...with your siblings? My treat," he offered.
