Flaws
Tulala ako sa sahig habang nakasandal sa pader. My mother was still crying. I could feel my fist aching, but it was my least concern.
"I was afraid for the shame our family would face, Mavric. I am afraid I would be a laughing stock in this society that my husband is gay and that my kids would be bullied if their father is gay... A-Ayoko nang maranasan ang nangyari sa'yo noon... At hindi ko na kayang tiisin na...hindi ako...hindi babae ang gusto niya..." she cried devastatingly as she was still trying to cup my face.
"Did he cheat on you? Did he?" namamaos kong tanong.
"He's gay, Maverick. What would you want me to do—"
"So what? That's not an excuse to cheat on people! There is never an excuse to cheat on people, mom! This isn't about his sexuality anymore! This is about you! You were so busy...and I've given you the benefit of the doubt that you were having a hard time dealing with us, with your failed marriage, with the divorce, and yet...you are in that fucking hotel..." The rage scattered on my expression that I needed to just punch the wall but to see my siblings coming up, I controlled it.
Every time I would point out her mistake, she would just bow apologetically. Ngayon kana nahiya nang mabisto ka?
"K-Kuya?" ang humihingos na si Riri na umakyat at sumilip.
Sumunod si Jester, humihikbi pa at gumagalaw ang balikat sa pag-iyak nang lumapit din, habang si Lala ay nakasunod, gustong hilain ang dalawa ngunit tuloy tuloy nila akong nilapitan.
Riri stood in between my parting legs. Hinila niya ang dulo ng kanyang dress at ipinunas niya sa umaagos kong luha. Si Jester naman ay sa gilid ko pumwesto at yumakap sa aking leeg.
"I'm here, kuya..." she said gently, as if it were enough to comfort me.
"Huwag mo akong iwan, k-kuya..." hikbi ni Jester.
Isinandal ko ang mukha ko sa mga balikat nila at kapwa sila niyakap sa bawat braso ko. I cried on their shoulders. We were facing it all alone. Simula noong magpasya silang magdivorce, parang nahati na ang bahay, ngunit hindi sa dalawa, kundi sa tatlo. We were left in the middle, with no choice but to deal with it on our own because our parents were now busy trying to move on and go on with their lives.
Ngunit kami, kailanman, hindi humakbang at nagpatuloy. Naiwan kami sa sirang pamilya, naghihintay na baka maalala nila at maisipang baguhin ang desisyon, ngunit pakiramdam nila, pag nagtrabaho sila para lang maitaguyod kami, sapat na iyon, kahit na hindi na nila kami kausapin pa.
How could she do this to us? Wala siyang oras sa amin. Habang nanglilimos ng atensyon ang mga kapatid ko, naroon siya sa lalake niya. Umaga...gumigising si Riri para maabutan siya. At si Jester, naipon na ang hinanakit sa kanila.
Was she thankful that I was taking care of my siblings so she could make more time for her cheating ass? And what's the divorce for? To marry that motherfucker?
And what, she's gonna reason that...my father was gay? And she tried to find another man to satisfy her?
"Kuya...talk to m-mommy again. Can you? Communicate calmly, kuya...can you? Please? Mommy...she will listen..." Riri whispered with her quivering lips.
Humigpit ang yakap ni Jester sa akin. "Isama mo ako, k-kuya. Ayoko rito...Huwag mo akong i-iwan. H-Hindi ako mahal ni mommy..."
When mommy heard it, her whimper escaped, and she cried softly. She deserves to hear how Jester grew distant from her!
Tumayo akong muli. Riri lifted her head as she reached for my hand pleadingly. Si Jester naman ay sa hita ko yumakap, humagulhol doon. Yumuko ako at kinarga si Riri, kinuha naman ang kamay ni Jester.
