Already Gone

I'm Already Gone

~~Stiles~~

Ever since the Nogitsune incident I haven't been the same. I can't feel anything anymore. I'm so numb to the world that I feel like I'm dead. I've been bullied all throughout school and it used to hurt, and I tried my best to avoid it but now I welcome the bullies and the pain because it's the only time I feel anything. I say I'm fine, but it can't be further from the truth. I lie constantly about how I feel and what I'm feeling or lack thereof. 

So, no one knows that I'm constantly looking for a way to feel, I've only felt things when I'm getting hurt, so I tested that theory by getting a knife to cut myself to see if it worked and it did. So, every time there isn't school, I get my knife and slice my arm. I slice my arms mostly, but I've done my legs at times, and I do it in the shower so I can have access to my body without worrying about clothes. I don't wear short sleave anymore and no one asks why.

I'm walking to the cafeteria to get lunch when my bullies surround me, and I stop walking and let them come. I get hit hard in the stomach and I fall to the ground just for another hit to hit me. I feel as their shoes connect with my back, stomach and legs. I then feel it stop and I open my eyes just to see a shoe coming into view just before it comes in contact with my face, I close my eyes and it connects making me dizzy. 

I feel it hit again and I think I blacked out because next thing I know I'm waking up to Scott beside me. I sit up and he looks to me asking "Stiles what happened? Are you okay?" I stand up and state "I'm fine, just a few punk kids." Scott growls but I grab his shoulder telling him "Scott really I'm fine. Let's just go to lunch." I start walking and Scott walks with me. We sit down and I already can't feel anything. Almost like nothing happened.

~~mini timeskip~~

~~Stiles~~

I'm at home and I walk not feeling like I'm there or anything. I just feel like a ghost just going through the motions as if there is no purpose for me. What good am I? Why should I be alive? I should just kill myself. End it all. It's not like anyone will miss me, everyone hates me. No one can look at me without thinking about what happened. I'm just one big reminder of who we lost. So, I should just do everyone a favor and kill myself. I go up to my room and I grab my knife. 

I take it into the bathroom, and I lock my bathroom door before I open the cabinet taking out the bottle of pain meds and taking 4. I wait for 30 minutes before I enter the shower turning on the water and I wait for it to warm up before entering it.

I stand just out of the water, and I look down at the blade before cutting my wrist then I grab it with the other hand slicing my opposite wrist. I then slide down the side of the shower suddenly I feel tears not because I'm sad but because I'm happy. I haven't felt happy in so long it actually took me a minute to realize what I was feeling. I close my eyes feeling tired and faint. I feel light as a feather, and I hear my mom's voice calling to me. 

~~Scott~~

I arrive at Stiles' house, and I decide to check up on him. I know I haven't been there for him these past 2 months, but we all had things we needed to deal with and get past. So, I'm waiting at the door knowing he's home because of the jeep. As I'm waiting, I get a whiff of something. I sniff the air and I realize the smell is blood. My own blood runs cold as I recognize the scent and I call out "Stiles! Stiles! Open the door!" 

I bang on the door, and I decide to open it and it's open, so I rush inside grabbing for my phone as I head up the stairs to Stiles' room. I dial my mom and put it on speaker. I feel my heart pounding in my chest as I open Stiles' door and the scent of blood overwhelms me. I feel worried and scared as my mom answers "What is it, Scott?" I tell her "I'm at Stiles' house I think he's hurt really bad. I smell lots of blood.

My mom tells me "Okay I'll come with an ambulance." I tell her "Okay, come quick. I'm going to try to get to him." I put my phone on the floor, and I try to open the door to the bathroom but it's locked, so I slam into the bathroom door with all my might. I do it until the door falls and the smell hits me hard, and I see Stiles slumped on the floor unmoving. I race to him and see all the blood making me worried. I look around for a towel or something to wrap his wounds. I take off my over shirt and crouch down to him placing the shirt over his wrists. I'm surprised at how cold he is and it worries me I can barely hear his heart. His heart is slowing more and so I decide to carry Stiles to the hospital as I leave the room, I tell my mom "I'm carrying him there. See you soon."

Just as I said that I hear his heart stop and that made my heart drop. I talk to Stiles as I race to the hospital "Stiles, stay with me . . . Please . . . I can't lose you too." I can feel the tears stinging my eyes but I continue running hoping it's not too late.

I finally arrive and my mom is there ready to take Stiles to get him help. I place him on the gurney, and they wheel him away. I say under my breath "Please be okay."

~~mini timeskip~~

~~Scott~~

I've been waiting for many hours and the sheriff is here with me. We're waiting for news on Stiles, and I look up to see my mom. I stand as the sheriff follows with me, we walk to my mom, and I ask, "Please tell me he made it." She looks down and I just know deep down. I fall to the ground unable to support my weight and the emotions just flood my system, causing me to cry out "NOOooo!!!! Stiles!!" I stand up abruptly running to find Stiles thinking "He can't be dead, he can't be, he's fine . . . He's always fine. He is fine. . . Wasn't he?" 

I stop running and I start thinking about all the times he said he was fine, then I think of today, when I found him in the hall blacked out and with a start of a black eye. He told me he was fine. But was he actually fine? Should I have asked "are you sure?" Maybe if I did, he would have told me if he was truly fine or not. But . . . Now . . . I slide down the side of the wall and I curl up crying. I feel a hand on my shoulder, and I peak out my arms seeing my mom. I continue to cry, and I ask with a broken tone "Can I see him?"

She nods and I stand up seeing the Sheriff with tears in his eyes. I go up to him and I hug him. The sheriff hugs me back and after we follow my mom to the morgue. She opens the thing and pulls the slab out. The second I see him I close my eyes and I cry once again. I tell him not caring that I'm not alone with him "I'm sorry Stiles. I'm sorry, I should have tried harder. I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry." I cry for what feels like an eternity before I feel arms wrap around me and I see the Sheriff holding me and I wrap my arms around him as I cry wishing for Stiles to wake up, But I know he's already gone.

                            ~~The 

                                                      End~~ 

Start Date: 1/21/2024

Update Date: 2/24/2024

Edit Date: 3/17/2024

Words: 1424