Just the Start. (The Clovers series: Book 1)

Chapter 7

Now that I am reminded of the speech, my heart raced faster and I felt anxiety.

"Now, it is time for our four young leaders to share their thoughts and feelings with us. In no order of preference, first up, we have William."

I immediately swiveled to look at Ducan.

"You guys have to do it too?" I asked with wide eyes.

"Yeah, all of us."

I swallowed. I thought it was just me. Did I just waste the whole of Ducan's afternoon just to come up with my own script? How can I be so careless and insensitive? What if he did not come up with anything to say because of me?

"Do you um, have your script?" I asked Ducan discreetly.

He shook his head and guilt washed over me. So it's because of me...I should never have bothered him with my own task to begin with. I took the folded script from my pocket and handled it to him.

"What's this for?" he asked in bewilderment.

"It's your script so you can use it. Don't worry I'll think of something," I convinced.

"No I don't..." Ducan was interrupted by Gladion.

"Thank you William. Fortis is next," Gladion announced to my horror. How short is William's speech? I didn't catch a thing about what William said and it's my turn now. What do I say?

"Fortis this is yours," Ducan whispered urgently but I dismissed it with a reassuring smile. He's too kind and wanted to take it upon himself. But that was not what I wanted from making a friend. I rose from my seat shakily and walked up the steps. I missed a footing on the last step and wobbled but I grabbed the railing by the side at the last second before I make an embarrassment out of myself before the speech.

I breath got caught in my throat the moment I faced the sea of audience and I froze. So many eyes watched with different emotions. Curiosity, anticipation, scorn. Many were judging me before I even spoke and waiting to see if I would make a fool out of myself. Cold sweat broke out on my forehead and I felt like I was about to faint from being overwhelmed. However, fainting was not an option. Forgetting everything in the mist of panic, I searched the audience for Ducan but found my eyes locked onto Zander instead. I'm not sure if he had seen the panic in my eyes but the corner of his mouth tilted upwards into the faintest smirk. Frustration built up inside me, engulfing most of my fear.

"You," I broke the long silence. I had spoken that aloud accidentally and there was no going back now. My mind spun fast as I thought of what to say.

"All of you work towards a common goal and I admire that. I'm sure that all of you have doubts about my abilities. However, I don't blame any of you for it because I doubt myself too. Maybe even more than you. I won't promise that you would definitely achieve victory under my lead. I won't promise that you would definitely get what you desire. After all, I will bleed, just like all of you will. So don't expect anything great from me just because I'm one of your leaders. I don't want to disappoint any of you. Our chance at victory also depends on all of you. I will do my best, play my part and we shall see where that will lead us."

When I finished my speech, my blood was roaring in my ears and I felt as if I had just shot myself in the head. What is this? Instead of saying what the audience wanted to hear, I had said what I wanted to get off my chest. And now, I'll have to pay for it.

There was a deafening silence after the last word left my lips and I did not even dare to break that silence. I did not even dare to lift my head to meet anyone's gaze. I prayed with all my heart that they would just dismiss my words as that of an ignorant child and proceed with Ducan or Zander's speech.

Suddenly, the dining hall exploded into activities. It was as though the audiences were split into two main groups. Some were clapping and giving me looks of admiration and approval whilst others were glaring at me with hostility and outright displeasure.

"Alright...Fortis had given us a refreshing view of her thoughts and feelings and made her point." Gladion's eyes bored into me as he said those words and I could not tell if he was pleased or angry at my answer.

"Ducan's next," he announced to my relief. I fought the urge to run down the stairs and out of the double-doors. Instead, I made my way to my seat as calmly as I could.

"That was good," Ducan whispered as he brushed past me and I muttered a 'good luck' to him.

After I was back in my seat, I made a mistake of turning to my right. Zander was staring at me with a look that I could not figure out. Uncomfortable, I leaned forward to the side a little, letting my hair fall naturally in between us, like a curtain. I thanked my past self for making the wise decision of letting my hair down. Its original purpose was to prevent a headache during the speech but it has now served a different purpose-a shield against evil.

I directed my focus onto Ducan instead. Unlike myself, he seemed immune to the stares of the audience.

"As one of your leaders, I assure you that I will give my best and do whatever I can to help you guys in this war. With my other skill not developed yet, I might not be the strongest. To speak the truth, I'm not even sure if it'll develop before the war. If it does, I will definitely use it to our greatest advantage. If it doesn't, I'll just fight like everyone one of you will. Fight hard and die with no regrets!"

Everyone behind me clapped and some of them go as far as rising to their feet and fist pumped into the air, yelling 'Fight hard and die with no regrets!' As for me, I was stunned. He did not use the script that I passed to him.

"Fortis, I wanted to tell you just now that I don't need the script. It was written for you. I already knew what I want to say before the ceremony," Ducan revealed.

I face-palmed.

"Are you upset?"

"No it's just that I keep doing it. Assuming things. It's embarrassing," I blew a strand of hair out of my face.

"But you did well even without the script."

"I did? I don't know about that..." I looked toward Gladion.

"Have some confidence in yourself. You'll get the hang of it."

"Thanks."

The next moment I looked towards the stage, Zander was already up there. There was also no script in his hands and he looked unfazed. What will he say? I can't help but wonder.

"Since I already have my abilities developed, I will be on the frontline. There are three types of people on the battleground. Those who wait for others to save them, those who are complacent and don't follow orders and those who listen and fight hard. The first two types always ends up dead. You choose which you want to be. You're responsible for yourself once you are on battleground so don't wait around and expect people to save you because you are not capable of defending yourself. You will end up dragging the whole team down with you instead. So don't slack when you can train and never underestimate your enemy. There are no second chances at war. "

Zander had his gaze locked on me throughout his whole speech and I met it without backing away. It was obvious that those words were for me to hear.

Don't worry, I won't be the liability of the team even if it costs me my life.