The Scarecrow's Dreaded Birthday

Chapter 5: Scavenger Hunt

"Perfect! You're a star!" Joker enthused, whisking the card away again, ignoring Jonathan's flushed cheeks. "Now let's get that selfie at the dog park!"

Jonathan's scowl deepened as the Joker bounced along beside him, herding him to the nearest dog park. Rambunctious dogs bounded everywhere as laughing families looked on.

Joker suddenly gave him a shove toward a nearby golden retriever. "Go on Johnny, make a new friend!" the clown urged with a wide grin.

Jonathan grimaced down at the panting dog now eagerly sniffing his shoes and slacks. He didn't particularly mind canines, but taking selfies with strangers' pets was utterly demeaning. Still, remembering those childhood photos in Joker's clutches, Jonathan carefully lowered himself to the grass.

The over friendly canine immediately began licking his hands, face, and glasses with sloppy enthusiasm. Fighting back a disgusted cringe, Jonathan awkwardly patted its head while Joker snapped photos and laughed uproariously.

"Beautiful! Now gimme a big smile!" Joker practically cackled.

Jonathan glared past the dog's furry shoulder as he struggled to detach himself from the wiggly retriever. "Alright, I think I've had enough of this. Now can we please go before any more people see me like this?" he said irritably.

He could feel the eyes of park-goers watching and laughing under their breath. All he wanted was to escape before becoming anyone else's awkward photo opportunity.

Joker shrugged, still typing away gleefully on his phone. "I dunno, I think Gotham would love more pics of you and your new pal..."

Suppressing an aggravated growl, Jonathan resigned himself to more minutes of canine chaos under the demeaning gazes of passing families. He couldn't hold back his disdainful scowl knowing Joker would be splashing these mortifying photos across the internet at any moment.

When Jonathan finally stood up, fur was sticking to his pants. The Joker was laughing hysterically. "That's a great shot!" he said between cackles.

He held up his phone to show Jonathan the newest humiliating photo - a muddy puppy with its tongue up his ear. Jonathan sighed in frustration, knowing this would just be added to the growing collection of blackmail material the Joker was amassing.

"So who's up for round two? I spy a playground..."

Jonathan felt his eye twitch as Joker happily steered them toward the playground next. Rambunctious children clambered noisily over the equipment as weary parents looked on. He dug his heels in, glaring daggers at his tormentor.

"Alright, that's it, Joker. I've put up with your stupid games long enough," Jonathan said irritably. "I will not continue making a fool of myself in this kids' playground."

Joker wagged a patronizing finger under Jonathan's nose. "Ah ah, those adorable toddler pics are just a click away from mass exposure! Better play nice if you want 'em kept private." His sharp grin left no room for further argument.

Face burning crimson, Jonathan allowed himself to be led reluctantly toward the playground like an oversized child. Gleeful shrieks filled the air as Joker gave him a helpful shove toward the swings.

"Have at it!" the clown encouraged to the bemusement of hovering parents. "Really pump those legs now!"

His jaw clenched furiously, Jonathan lowered himself onto the tiny seat with as much dignity as he could muster. But with the Joker gesturing eagerly, he reluctantly began half-heartedly rocking his long legs. The chains creaked alarmingly at even this minimal movement.

"Higher Johnny, higher!" Joker cheered. "Make those thin legs work!"

As Jonathan grimaced at the demeaning task, kids began giggling and pointing excitedly in his direction. Joker of course snapped several photos of him glowering on the undersized swing.