eli and i spend the next day recording and then the next week writing new songs, this is something that used to happen often, sometimes i just get a burst of inspiration and start writing nonstop for a while until i feel accomplished and then i'd record and drop new music, april my manager has always told me that i need to plan more about the time i drop a new album but after a couple of years she stopped trying.
today i decided to stop being a coward and drop the new song, which means going back to the spotlight and out of my hiding hole, i also havent told anyone other than eli about it and im not a hundred percent sure im ready for it, but i think if i dont do it now i dont know when i'll gather enough courage to even think about doing it later, so here i am now, sitting in the backyard of sean's house hovering over the 'post' button and with one last breath i do it.
mayascott
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liked by seanscott and 1,296,396 mayascott can i exhale for a minute? 08.16.23 view all 15,396 comments user not this bitch again 🥱 user im so excited for new music user mother i missed you! user we had such a good 6 months without her user which one of her exes do you guys think this one is about? user THAT'S TOMORROW WHAT?
over half of the comments are negative. i expected it, people are and will always be pieces of shit i just need to learn to ignore it and move on, accept the good comments and focus on the people around me that support me. my phone starts ringing and i see the name 'jess' on it, my best friend who, just like eli, i ghosted three months ago but i pick up
"i want to hear the song send it over sis" is the first thing i hear when the call connects
"hi jess i've missed you" i say chuckling a bit
"yes yes me too but its been so long without your music so please send it over" she tells me
"im sending the audio file over but you have to record yourself listening to it for the first time" i click on the file and send the message "there you go"
"i'll be back later after i listen to my new favorite song at least 20 times" i laugh and say okay then saying my goodbyes and hanging up
jess and i have been friends for a long time, its one of those friendships where we can either talk all day everyday or once a week for 20 minutes and it all feels the same. to me, jess my soul sister and people even say we look alike sometimes.
after the call i realize i have a couple texts from different people congratulating me about the new song, but the one that sticks out is the one from lando
'you promised i would listen to the song before everyone else'
i hesitate for a minute but end up realizing i have nothing to lose since he will listen to it tomorrow anyways so i send it without saying anything other than he can send it to max already feeling anxious about his response.
