Total Drama Action (Lewis McLean)

Aftermath III: O-Wen or Lose

"Anyway, this isn't some cushy talk show. Do you have any idea how incredible the lighting is on those shows, man? I mean, who needs to win a million bucks, when you LOOK like a million bucks?!" I raised a brow at him. "Um, I'm not sure everyone would agree with you, there." He scoffed, before sitting back. "Well, our lighting stinks. My dermatologist told me so, and so did my publicist, and my new manager!"

Geoff nearly became victim to a falling stage light. We both looked upwards to see it was just the gaffers for the show, and they were obviously insulted. "Nothing personal, guys, come on! Point is,  this isn't some touchy-feely place where people go to talk about their problems. Well, they can, but I'm not gonna make them feel any better about 'em."

I scoffed, folded my arms, and rolled my eyes. "Nice." "Hey! I just do what our producers tell me! Can I help it if I take my job seriously, huh?! Maybe you should try." Everybody in the studio, at that point, gasped at Geoff.

He did not just say that to me.

"YOUR job is to get the goods from people. How the HELL can they be open when they might get hit over the head with a hammer, or an anvil?!" I signalled upwards to the anvil, which was hanging from a very weak rope. Geoff found it entertaining, though. "Ho-ho-ho-ho! How sweet is that anvil? Come on! That's the point of the segment. To get the truth! We've got something even better in store for today's show, baby!"

I angrily pointed in his direction. "You've turned into a bully, you know that? A total Chris clone." My words weren't even getting through to his tiny, tiny brain. "Haha! I'm with you, Bridge! Our show rocks!" Everybody cheered, while Geoff kept talking. "And we have not one, not two, but three sweet guests tonight! And because they're such great sports, they deserve something extra."

The fact he wasn't going to stop hurting them shocked me. "Owen already broke his jaw, and had to eat food through a straw. That's punishment enough!" He faked crying, simply to mock me and my opinion. "That's what you think! Before we find out what's in store for my man Owen, let's see what the dude's been through already."

"Owen started the season much like he begins every morning." Geoff started. Since I was a host, I had to participate, unfortunately. "By eating. . . a lot." "Bummer things didn't end that way." "Owen loved, lost. . ." "And had his jaw busted into a million pieces!" "Forced to eat his meals through a straw, Owen kept his head held high, even at his low, when he was booted off the show." 

"Landing himself exactly where he wanted to be, at the nearest food court. Our first guest has spawned with salmon, danced naked, befriended a coconut, and eaten a toilet seat! Welcome, Owen!" Owen didn't come out onto stage, which was unusual. So, I gave it a shot. "Owen! Everyone!" Everybody looked at each other, unsure of where he was.

After a few seconds, he came out, holding a bucket's full of meat in his arms. "Hi, everybody!" He chuckled, somewhat anxiously, but Izzy suddenly squealed happily. "HEY!" She jumped over to where he was with a few flips, before landing on his shoulders. "Hi, Izzy. Hi, Bridgette. Hi, Geoff." I was the first to greet him. "It's so great to have you, Owen." "Owen, my man!"

I looked up at Izzy on his shoulders. "Uh, Izzy, would you care to have a seat?" "I'm good. Olé!" I raised a brow, before simply brushing it off, as nothing. "So, Owen, we were so worried about you. Your busted-up jaw - it must've sucked having to eat all of your meals through a straw." I began, giving him an opportunity to answer. "Chips and soda make a scrumptious blendy! But, I've been making up for it since."

"Oh, Owen, you are so sweet to plan something special! Well, got to run!" Izzy snagged one of Owen's drumsticks, before jumping over to her seat beside Eva. "I've said this before, but Izzy really is like the ants that invade your picnic. Eventually. . . you get bitten by the crazy." He whistled to demonstrate his point. "But, hey, it's better than being bitten by, like, a tiger shark!" Geoff looked as if he just had an idea.