Dance For Me (Strip in the City, Book 2)

37 • Hot Party

"Dance with me," I whispered in her ear. "You look too damn fine not to show you off."

Maren must've escaped West and rushed over to us, hugging us around the neck. "Did someone say dancing?"

I gave her a lopsided grin, which seemed to soften her, and we spent the next few hours lost in the music. Laughing with friends and pretending like things weren't weird between us. But, that could only last so long. Especially because I was the one who was stone-cold sober.

The after-party stretched past three in the morning, which was two hours longer than I'd anticipated Rhonda, Flo, and the other girls could've handled, but apparently, I was wrong.

When everyone was tucked inside cabs and sent home, I wandered over to an old pillar that had been sanded down and stained a darker brown while Maren said her goodbyes to her friends.

I was trying so hard to be the kind of man worthy of fucking touching her, and I was starting to think I might never be good enough to keep her happy.

Tan silently padded over to me. Watching me as I continued to run my fingertips over the wood. Without the music and the laughter, the room was so quiet I could hear my heart beating in my chest. The echo thumping in my ears.

"You haven't said much."

I shifted my attention to her. I wanted to smile. Wanted whatever was off between us to be fixed, but I didn't think I could wish this impending fight away.

"I never do," I said.

Humor clearly wasn't going to work either, because she didn't smile back at me.

"That's not true. You talk to me." Taking a step closer, she asked, "Do you the renovations?"

I didn't like how small her voice was, but I also wasn't going to lie to her.

"The club looks great," I said automatically, letting out a sigh. "Mimi loves it. Everyone loves it." I shrugged. "Sef did a good job."

Then, I ran out of things to say and fell silent.

"But?" she prompted.

As much as I liked to think I could read every little emotion flitting across her face, she'd gotten pretty damn good at reading mine. Yes, the club looked great. There was no denying this was an upgrade. And yes, I was happy that everyone else was happy.

But...

"But it just doesn't feel like home," I admitted. And god, saying it out loud hurt so bad. "Not anymore."

She was quiet, and so was I. I didn't know how to make her understand that Blanche's was more to me than just a club. For me, safety had been a place. This place. A place where I belonged.

"See this post?" I said. Tan nodded. "You wouldn't know it now, but each year on my birthday, Mimi marked my height." I traced the invisible lines with my finger. "She used an old knife and scratched how tall I was into the wood." I let out a strangled laugh when emotion threatened to choke me. "It sounds stupid, but I liked seeing all the little marks. It made me feel like I was part of someplace, and because those marks were carved into the wood, I'd always belong here."

I dropped my hand, and our eyes locked. Her big brown eyes were wide and full of unshed tears. I wasn't trying to make her sad, I was just trying to help her understand.

"But now it's been sanded down and stained over, and all evidence that I ever lived here is gone."

I wanted to be angry or resentful, but I found I was just sad about it all. So fucking sad.