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"fade into you.." I think it's strange you never knew." ▹ fade into you - mazzy star
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3rd person pov
there he was. standing outside of the school laughing with his friends with one arm wrapped around one of his other friend's that he's with. who we're talking about? lee minho the most popular boy in the whole school aside from his other 4 friends hyunjin, seungmin, bangchan and jisung. y/n notices him while walking with her friends and it's like the world stopped when she laid eyes on him, again. y/n had liked minho since middle school and here we are in the same school but only that it's now become high school and still nothing has changed for y/n feeling wise since middle school minho has always noticed her but most of the time he kept quiet to not just her but the entire school and seeing him now as a social butterfly it was weird to say the least "what are you looking at?" yunjin says also trying to look for the thing, or rather person the girl is looking right at "ahh I see what your looking at" yunjin says before nudging y/n's shoulder for her to at least get a tighter grip on reality and not seem as a staring stalker creep. "why don't you go talk to him again?" y/n's friend asks "I don't know.. I can't" the girl says looking back over at the distracted minho and just for a moment he locks eyes with her and just looks away to proceed the conversation he was in.
"oh come on! yes you can I can even help you maybe after school?" yunjin offers but y/n just shakes her head no before speaking up "no I mean like I can't it isn't just a shy awkward thing" the girl says looking down "well what do you mean you can't you liked him for years!" yunjin says "minho... minho's different." y/n says sighing. minho since a young teenager has walls built up. barriers and it didn't change going into high school. but even with that to her knowledge y/n still wanted to show just how much she cared and tried to reach through those walls and barricades butit never went anywhere no matter the effort, or words of sweet nothings it wasn't enough. "I just thinks he doesn't show himself to me and has a dark perception of the everyone. the world and stuff like that." y/n says explaining all that to her friend "well I mean if he doesn't want to you know reciprocate those feelings then.. that's him" the girl's friend says.
and the problem is that's exactly what minho did. he held himself back almost, he never let her reach him. he thought he couldn't love her back as much as she did. but even though with all of this know about the boy y/n never stopped loving him and it still hurt y/n to know she couldn't reach him. she wasn't allowed to it made her feel like she wasn't enough she had thought of everything to make him like her "maybe if I was more pretty" "I'm not hungry I'm on a diet right now" every thought was useless as as time went on and on she knew that she couldn't get to him no matter how close she is to him. and when the girl finally had courage to speak to him he would stare back with sorry eyes almost as if he wants to love her as much as she does to him but he felt like it was possible. "helloo?? earth to y/n" yunjin said waving her hand in front of the girls face but she's stuck in a trance like state, just staring and it becoming almost too much that y/n's friend had thought the girl would laser a hold into him.
"come on let's go" her friend yunjin says nudging y/n's shoulder finally bringing the girl back to reality "w-what?" she says "I said let's go we're about to leave for the day so pack up ok?" yunjin said to y/n while beginning to walk in the school from being outside as they had a "fun day" today and basically do nothing. "ok um let me just take some stuff out my locker to take home" y/n said going the opposite way of yunjin "ok well I have to go to the bathroom so you'll wait for me?" yunjin asks "mhm" y/n hums. as she's walking to her locker I bump into a familiar person. minho, of all people why did I have to bump into minho? the poor girl thought "oh.. um sorry I didn't see where I was going" she says "I saw you staring while outside." the boy says completely disregarding her apology for running into him "o-oh um I didn't mean to-" y/n began to say "it's fine" minho says while looking doing at his feet not know what to say to the girl next "um can I talk to you?" the boy suddenly asks and the question seemed almost unreal to y/n I mean the lee minho wanted to talk to her? not to mention but he's also the boy the girl has been eyeing for years but couldn't, and probably would never do anything to do something about it, about her feelings and it was hard for her, she knew what minho though and what he was like but nonetheless she still agreed to talk to minho.
the boy takes y/n outside the school building by a near by door suddenly minho stopped which also caused y/n to stop in front of him "you wanted to talk, what about?" the girl says still having her books in hand, minho then sighs "I'm sorry" he says "minho.." she says "I... I just want you know even though you have an idea of what my feeling are towards you I want you to know I'll offer you anything you want to be your home, my heart, I'll help you" she admits and the boy looks at her as he's sorry like what he's about to say is gonna tore her to a million pieces. and it did just that. "I can't.. be that for you." the sorry looking boy says and almost immediately minho saw y/n's smile fade away. like sand in the air. it just went away "oh" is the only word she could get out after a moment of silence them, the tension thickening and it thickened the more they stood there, facing and looking at each other. "I have to go I was waiting for a friend so" y/n begins to say before starting to walk back in the school at a fast pace, like she just wants to get away from this scene minho, the teachers, the tears about to fall out and everyone else and almost bolted out when the last bell ran.
"hey are you ok? I was waiting for you but you were gone?" her friend asks "sorry.. minho wanted to talk to me." she says quietly trying not to let the tears fall down "well what did he say?" yunjin asks the girl looking down to be able to see the broken girl's face and at that point y/n couldn't take it anymore and she finally let the tears fall down "hey hey... it's ok" yunjin says hugging the girl and let go when y/n decided to speak up "he said.. he couldn't be what I want him to be and I just... I don't know" y/n says wiping my tears but it was useless as she replaced it with new tears streaming down her face as before. "oh babes.. let's go to my house, hang out there hm?" yunjin says to which y/n nods at.
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minho's pov
I really messed up. I messed everything up. y/n loved me so much, she was open to anything with me. but now, I know I won't get another chance like that. I don't know why I was so hardheaded I knew she was different and all along I really did love her but I did anything to prevent her and tried to refrain from loving me but after knowing what I thought I wanted she still loved me. after everything I put her through. I want to run to her, to explain what I said was so far from the truth but I think this is it. she'll stop trying and stop pining. but a big part of me wants her to come back and ask me if the things I did say are true so I can officially tell her the truth. I got too scared, I now know what my dad said about me not taking enough risks, that I'm weak and scared of everything. he was right all along and I hate it.and I hate not knowing till this very moment.
end of minho's pov
"hey, it's ok your ok" yunjin says to the crying girl with her head on her lap "I feel..." y/n says but she got caught up in her own tears and didn't get to finish her thought. "I know, I know" her friend says "I just wish he knew.." y/n says in between her cries. not knowing that minho did know but he felt it was too late.
