[ KAIZEN || WooSan fanfic ] sequel - book 2

[ 22 ]

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Cold air seemed to have dominated the nights in Seoul, since it was mid October. Just a month away from winter. It still rained a lot. Maybe not the best weather for everything the group had been going through. And along with Seoul's weather came this gloomy and lonely feeling that subsided in Wooyoung's heart. A feeling he hated so much and thought would only be cured if San never betrayed his trust.

So here he was, again, trying to talk himself into getting over his past by doing this. He stood in front of the bar he'd encountered Heeseung again. And he convinced himself, he'd stick up for himself if that bastard was to show up this time.

With shivers running down his spine, he made his way inside, careful not to bump into any sweaty bodies. And he'd tried desperately not to dress in a way he'd be eye fucked by anyone and everyone. Or in the way a pervert would have him pinned against the wall like last time.

His leg shook like jelly and his heart smacked against his chest. The option of just turning around and leaving seemed pretty good to him but the next place he'd let his legs take him was San's home. And he wasn't going there. No matter how desperate he was, he wasn't running back into San's arms like nothing happened. Like he was okay.

The thought had hit him a couple nights ago. While he was lying in his bed, day in, day out, ignoring calls, getting drunk, missing work, hurting his friends (he'd heard Seonghwa crying to Hongjoong that night, the guilt still haunting him), he realised one thing.

San never spoke to him. Didn't make an effort. At least he thought so. If San felt the same way he did, he was sure he'd be trying hard to make it up to him.

But ever since he showed up at his doorstep, had an awkward conversation, kissed and even fucked, San hadn't made any contact with him since then.

At first Wooyoung wanted to believe he was still mourning the loss of his grandfather, and to make it hurt less, he still believed this, but part of him wished San wanted him back too.

So instead of wasting time thinking about San, he decided to make his way to the counter to order a drink.

He stared at the glass when it arrived, swirling it before gulping it down at a go. He reached for another. Then another. And another. Another. To the point his vision was starting to get blurred and his head was spinning. He was going for another round, the desperation to forget everything taking over him when a hand stopped him.

"Let go.", Wooyoung muttered.

"You've been going at it for ages. Shouldn't you stop?"