Not So Loved (West Coast Campus Series Book 2)

Chapter 11

My heart raises slightly but I keep my calm.

"I was just dropping off Liam for the night. He wanted to show you his new trucks."

My Dad is a big man. Even after all the drugs, he's still tall and could easily pin me down.

"Maeve? What the fuck you doing here?"

His words are slurred and I can tell by the way his head flops side to side that he's been drinking. Not a lot because his pants are still on but he's at least two or three bottles in.

"I told you. Liam wanted to show you-could you stop fucking drinking when Liam's here?"

He takes a swig before stuffing a cigarette in his mouth, his hair frizzy which means he hasn't showered in days.

He doesn't respond, just walks a few steps closer to me, his eyes foggy, his clothes rumpled.

He looks at me like he did with mom. Love and warmth. Two things my dad never showed me.

Every step he takes closer to me, I take backward towards the door until I'm pushed up against it, fumbling with the handle behind me.

"What the fuck did you just say to me?" He hisses, his fist slamming into the door behind me, just above my head.

"Dad. Let me the fuck go." I spit at him as his slimy hand wraps around my wrist, the cigarette he was holding in that same hand burning my arm.

But I don't flinch. Don't show how fucking scared I am.

"I can't believe you took Sarah away from me. You are no daughter to me. Just a fucking murderer."

That time, I do flinch.

He pulls the lighter out of his pant pocket, lighting the cigarette again before he pushes it into my skin again like how he did when I was a teenager.

I grit my teeth, using my free hand to slap his arm upwards and away, pushing at his chest until he stumbles back. His ugly eyes narrow on me, the smell of him making me want to vomit.

My heart shatters more and more every time he mentions mom, blaming me for her death every fucking day since Liam was born.

I love Liam so fucking much.

But the pain of loving him becomes more unbearable everyday.

Dad's hold on my hand loosens so he can walk to the beer filled fridge so I take the opportunity to run to Liam's room and grab him, dad's interest in me lost.

"No! I don't want to leave! Stop!" Liam shouts and cries, arching away from me when I pick him up making it really hard to hold him without dropping him on his head.

"Liam. Please. We can have a movie night. Anything you want." I plead, trying to gather his bag as he continues to push away from me, slapping me in the face while doing so.

"No! I hate you! I want to stay! Let me stay!"

That hurts more than it should especially since I know he's just saying it because he's frustrated.

"Liam? Are you okay?" My dad asks from the kitchen, his voice soft and caring but I don't hear the rest as we're out the door, practically sprinting to my car.

Liam kicks his legs, flails his arms, making it impossible for me to buckle him.

I force him down, something I'm not proud of but I finally get the last buckle clipped, speeding away as dad watches from the front door.

I know dad would never hurt Liam which even to me doesn't sound believable but he's dad's son. And we all know how much dad wished for me to be that son.

I hate my fucking life.

Liam wails in the back, kicking my seat as I drive back to our apartment, a fucking migraine staring to form.

There's blood in my palms from how hard I was clenching them earlier and the burns hurt terribly, especially since taking Liam out of the car, all he did was claw my arms.

Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck.

I don't remember cigarette burns being this bad but damn, are they painful.

With Liam's bag and a wailing child in my arms, I can't get the fucking door open.

"Liam! Stop." He wails even harder so I set him down on the floor to kick and scream.

I'm on the verge of fucking crying.

I've only ever cried one other time in my life that I can remember.

It was when I found out Rhys left me.

Or at least I thought.

Because now looking behind my shoulder down the hall, there he is, approaching us.

I quickly wipe my teary eyes and turn to him, finally opening the door.

"Rhys? What are you doing here?" My voice is thick.

He raises an eyebrow at Liam who still sobs on the floor. "Kyla said you were going to be coming to the bar but you never showed so I thought I would come to you."

Oh, great.

I swallow, looking up to the ceiling to contain the tears.

"Uh-yeah. I got my hands full." I tilt my head towards the child.

He smiles, crouching down beside him.

"I can see that. Hey, Liam. Do you remember me from the other night?" Rhys asks softly, grabbing ahold of his shoulders to try and turn him.

"I want to go back to Dad's! I hate you Maeve!"

Liam screams at the top of his lungs, more tears trying to flow at his words.

Rhys frowns, glancing up to me before turning his attention back to Liam.

"You don't mean that. Come on, show me your trucks."

Liam stops crying, sniffling up at Rhys with snot spread all over his face.

"Where are my new ones?" Liam asks me like he didn't break my heart multiple times today but he's young. Doesn't understand the meaning of those words.

"In your bag." I say weakly, my arm fucking throbbing.

Rhys throws a weird look in my way as I step into the apartment, throwing my keys on the counter and walking to the couch, my feet dragging behind me.

How the hell does he still have so much control over me? I moved out of that house at seventeen with Liam.

I dropped out of high school to take on three jobs to bring in some money and moved in with Ava who was just starting college. Her family is definitely on the wealthy side so thankfully, I didn't need to pay rent considering Ava's parents bought her the apartment.

I've never been apart of my father's life. Just a punching bag he could use so he wouldn't touch mom but she deserved it.

So I start crying in front of the person who broke what was left of my heart almost seven years ago.