His Beloved: A HuaLian TGCF Fan Fic

Chapter 6

Afterward they lay together in each others' arms and Hua Cheng trails lazy kisses over his god's body, over his lover's body, and everything is perfect. Xie Lian is limp and pliant in his arms, not a sleep, just utterly relaxed and its marvel just to feel him like that, tired and at peace and utterly trusting, letting Hua Cheng handle him however he wants without complaint.

So Hua Cheng indulges himself, leaving soft teasing kisses on each of his fingers, on his palms, the backs of his hands, up his arm, over his shoulder, pausing to admire the crimson marks blooming there, and then to his neck. ...His neck.

Hua Cheng caresses the soft skin, his fingers running teasingly over some the makes which cover it and Xie Lian makes a delicious little sound that touch and Hua Cheng drinks it in greedily but his eyes linker on the that hideous black band, that disgusting cursed blot on his god's perfect skin.

"Gege, what happened?" The question is out before he can stop himself. He knows he shouldn't ask, shouldn't disturb his god's rest with what must be painful memories. But he's wanted to know for so damn long. Ever since he stepped out of that damned volcano and set began gathering information on his god's whereabouts he's wondered.

"Hum?" Xie Lian blinks his eyes open, his gaze still a little unfocused. Fuck but he looks good like that.

Xie Lian's eyes travel downward, taking the location of Hua Cheng's hand. "Ah..." Some of the haze clears from his eyes as he seems to guess what Hua Cheng is really asking. Much as he loves having his god's alert attention on him, Hua Cheng finds that he's sorry to see it go.

Xie Lian considers him for a moment then looks away and Hua Cheng thinks he glimpses a flicker of guilt in those beautiful golden eyes.

"It's nothing San Lang needs to worry about."

Hua Cheng frowns slightly and is quick to say, "If gege doesn't want to tell me about it that's fine." He follows the words up by pressing a quick apologetic kiss at the center of Xie Lian's throat.

Xie Lian's expression softens at the kiss but there's still something too dark in his eyes and he tightens his arms around Hua Cheng as though still afraid that his lover might vanish at any moment. Hua Cheng knows the feeling so he tightens his arms around Xie Lian as well, hand running soothing caresses down his back. Xie Lian gives him a small smile, leaning into the touch.

"It's alright. Besides I think you have right to know. I just don't want you to feel guilty for choices I made, that's all."

"Guilty?" Hua Cheng's brows furrow, his tone darkening. "Gege did those heavenly pieces of trash blame you for what I did with those spirits?"

It doesn't seem likely, even for those heavenly bastards but it's the only thing he can think of that makes sense of Xie Lian's words.

"They didn't..."

Hua Cheng's tensed shoulders begin to relax but his relief is short lived.

"...but I did."

"What?" The word leaves Hua Cheng's mouth in a soft gasp, his eyes widening with horror as he stares, disbelieving, at his god.

Xie Lian takes a quick breath then plunges onward as though, now that he's decided to tell this story, he feels the need to get it all out at once and so he plunges onward and maybe that's good thing because Hua Cheng is no longer sure if he can form words.

"After you... After you were gone Jun Wu descended and defeated White No Face. Afterward he told me that I was supposed to ascend again and I... I refused. I couldn't do it. I knew I didn't deserve it after what I'd done to you. Heaven might have been willing to overlook it because you were a ghost but I couldn't. No, more than that, I refused to. I refused to pretend that your suffering didn't matter. I refused to benefit from it. So I asked for the shackles and Jun Wu and I staged the fight so that I could descend. So you see it was all my own choice and don't regret it."