DEEP BREATHS | lando norris

CHAPTER 6

ILMA

"Ilma!"

"Ilma Angelov!"

Yeah, fools and what am I supposed to do? It's not like I'm gonna spin infinte amount of times so every one of you could get a picture of me. So I just walk the red carpet in a black dress and try not to kill myself in those high heels that I've got yesterday picked by my stylist. The Mercedes party dress code was to be wearing something elegant and Mercedes related.

I was wearing everything that fitted the dress code whilst George... Well, George had kind of british way on looking at things connected with fashion. And of course he had to have a big entry. Dramatic ass. He rented four bodyguards with British flag sewn to their jackets and each of them having an umbrella. I have no idea what he had on his mind but it was so bad that Carmen decided to rather join me on the walk on the red carpet.

We weren't talking much though as we didn't have any topic to discuss together. In moments like this I consider taking my phone out of my purse and texting Vic to come over even though she can't. I smile to the cameras as I hear them all clicking and shuttering around us. If not the photographers yelling our names I think that the noise would be similar to butterflies wings.

As we made our way to the end of the red carpet there of course had to be some journalists waiting for us, with their fake smiles plastered to their faces. I decided to remake their face expression as I came up to one of them. It was a pretty woman that I didn't know. And that's weird because there are usually the same journalists on every event. Even though my mind warned me about this interview I couldn't back up now. It was too late.

"Welcome, Ilma." the woman said passing me a second microphone and pointing for me where I should stand so I'll look good on camera.

"Hello." I reply and smile at her while flipping my hair to the back. It has been annoying me for a while but I can't really do anything to make it feel comfortable for me if I want to look good.

"Would you mind giving us thoughts on tonight's event?" she asks me, hiding from the sight of the camera. My mind alarmed me now even more but I ignored it.

"I'm very proud of Mick finally getting involved into racing and that Mercedes is still accompanying him. He really deserves his seat in every motorsport and I will support his every choice." I answer unsure of what else I could say. I put the microphone down and wait for another question.

"Would you mind if I asked you about you?" I shake my head and get ready for possible questions. Probably it'll all be like always. 'How is it to be one of two women racing against 18 male drivers?' or 'Can you day anything about the rumours that you got into Formula One by paying the team?'. But the question that actually came was the one I wasn't prepared for.

"We've all seen the pictures of your parents coming up to two race of yours in this season so far. But there are also rumours that you have only argued with them all the way they were there. Is it true?" the interviewer's eyes flickered and I swear that her whole smile changed into a sly one. She asked me that on purpose.

I give myself a few secounds to think. To calm myself down and not to drop the microphone and just simply walk away. 'It's just anither challange' I think as I out the microphone up.

'It's another brick they're throwing at me.'

"Gossip and rumours will remain gossip and rumours. Me and my parents aren't on ideal terms but we're still family. They support me and I'm very gratefull they came to my races to watch me." I lie perfectly, without any hesitation and I make it sound like I'm completly honest. But I'm not. I came up with this words just in those 5 secounds I had to think of it. I came up with it just because I don't want my PR to drop somehow.

The journalist nods, buying my lie. I can see it in her eyes that she believes them. I don't know why though. I'm sure that if it was Lando standing there instead of her or literally any other person, he wouldn't believe me.

"Well, have fun then. Thanks for clearing things out." she fakes another smile and takes my microphone back.

I also thank her and as I walk away. I sigh and look at the floor, trying to collect my thoughts. What a nice way to end today's event. I would chuckle at my own joke if I weren't here.

I find Mick for one last time today and I congratulate him once again. After that I get back to my car, ready to drive back to my apartment in Monaco. But when I pass by the yachts I think it's a better idea to go there. I don't wanna sit closed in four walls just yet. So I take a turn and park my car next to the port where my yacht is. I take off my heels as soon as I step on it and I go under board to change from the dress into more comfortable clothes. I always have here a pair of tracksuit bottoms, an oversized tshirt and an oversized hoodie.

I also take a glass and a wine bottle with me before I get back on board. I walk to the sitting area with a great view on water surface which is calm by night. No one will interrupt me tonight. I smile at the thought.

I pour wine into my glass and I slowly start drinking as I think of everything. Of what I've achieved and what I've sacrificed for it. Not that I regret the things I've done to get where I am.

But after some time, when I'm more and more drunk, the main thought that I have is my latest pannic attack. I had a huge argument with my mother right before the race. I always argue with her but that one specific was different. It was about a nonsense that shouldn't matter for her. But she made a big deal out of it. Like she always does. The fact that it was two hours before the race didn't help me at all. It made me pannic even more.

So I went to the food tent where no one usually is when it's two hours to the race and locked myself at one of the bathrooms. At least I thought I locked myself. I didn't. And of course who had to appear? Lando. Damn Lando Norris. He was the last person I thought that would appear in that moment. When I was so vulnerable. I'd prefer Vic or Daniel or even Oscar. Anyone. But it had to be him.

At the very beggining when I heard his voice I thought that maybe my mind is playing with me but when he said my name. I knew it was him. I've never heard him call me by my name. That was a shock for me. And for my body. It reacted wrong. It didn't even react to be honest. It was more of ignoring his presence next to me when I was unable to breathe properly and unable to control my feelings and thoughts.

The fact that he wasn't mean and arrogant made me somehow pannic even more. I still don't know why. When things feel out of place or wrong my mind starts pannicking. A lot.

But then, when the situation was settled down we went back to our usual forms. I thanked him, which felt really wrong, and he walked away. Not that I wanted him to stay with me.

Or maybe I did?

No, it's just my drunk mind playing with my thoughts.

I'd never want this jackass to stay with me. Not after seeing me so vulnerable.

I place my glass of wine on the coffee table and come up to the edge of the yacht. I felt like everything was spinning around me but I managed to sit and observe the moon shining on the water. It calmed me down to look at it after such a day. I layed down on the floor and closed my eyes breathing out loudly.

I had no idea this could get any worse in just two hours.