Limang taon na ang lumipas bakit sariwa parin ang sakit sa puso ni Céline? Diba sabi nman ng karamihan kapag magpakalayo-layo ka raw, 'yong saket na naranasan mo ay hihilom rin sa bagong simula na inihanda ng diyos? Ngunit bakit iba ang nararamdamn niya ngayon? Bakit iyong dating mga mata niya na punong puno ng pagmamahal ay nangungulilang nakatamaw ngayon sa dalampasigan.
God only knows how much she wanted to go back there and explain to him everything, why she decided to leave him why she said those words to him, and how much she resents herself for hurting and leaving him like that
Hinding hindi makakalimutan ni Céline ang bawat katagang binitawan niya sa nakalipas na limang taon, tila karuyom iyon sakanyan na paulit ulit na tinutusok ang puso niya na hanggang ngayon ay palagi njya paring napapanaginipan ang sakit na gumuhit sa mukha nb lalakeng pinakamamahal niya.
His hurt face and broken heart couldn't mend Céline peaceful life. Kahit siguro sampung taon ay kulang parin para kalimutan niya ang mga nagawa niya.
Akala ni Céline kaya niyang mabuhay ng wala siya pero puro lang pala iyon akala. Alam na alam niyang nasaktan niya ito pero doble ang sakit na naramdaman niya sa mga binitawan niyang salita. She didn't mean to say those words to him, she didn't mean to hurt him.
Every day and night all her mind ever could recapture was how he held her in his arms and embraced her as if that was the last of their days. His kisses that drowned her and words that bargained her from reality, along with those nights they'd shared, Céline couldn't help but feel hopeless. She left yet it also left a huge mark on her mind and heart that will always be engraved in her memories.
Tahimik niyang niyakap ang sarili dahil sa lamig ng hangin na humahampas sakanyang balat at kasabay sa alon ng dagat. Wala sarili na nilalaro ni Céline ang mga pino at puting buhangin na naka palibot sakanya kung saan siya'y nakaupo ng matiwasay, yakap yakap ang sariling katawan.
Sa mga taon na lumipas na pamahal narin siya sa lugar nato sakabila ng mga luha na kumawala sakanyang mga mata at mga impit na hagulgul. Para sakanya ang lugar nato ay saksi sa sakit at pangungulilala na kikimkim niya.
"Mama? Are you okay?" Biglang singit ng batang lalake sakanyang ina na nakaupo rin tulad niya, may kalayuan ngalang pero rinig parin ni Céline ang munting mala angel na tinig nito.
"Mama's okay, Bravo kaya, go play with molly, okay?" Ani naman ng ina sa kalarong aso nito sa nakangiting bata.
"Pero mama, your eyes is sad kaya pwede dito na lang ako sa tabi mo?" Ingil ni Bravo sa ina na malapit ng umiyak. With a teary eyes Bravo's mother rain him with her kisses.
"Thank you so much for being with me, my child. Salamat dahil hindi mo itinakwil si mama, anak. Lage mong tatandaan na mahal na mahal ka ni mama."
In Céline's eyes that was the most heartfelt she ever encountered staying on her Lola's province. Mapakla nalang siyang napangiti habang nakatingin roon sakanila. Sa di malamang dahilan nakaramdam siya ng ingit sa mag ina na ngayo'y yakus at yakap ang bawat isa. Animo'y roon sila kumukuha ng lakas sa bawat isa.
Céline's life would also be like that if she didn't leave her whole world in the city. She would also be smiling like the woman sitting four meter away from her while cuddling with her beloved. But alas, mananatili na lamang iyon sa kahapon. Masakit man pero kinakailangan niyang panindigan ang desisyon na ginawa niya.
Céline stood up and patted her tanned legs covering with a peck of sand while picking up the towel she decided to sit early on. Dusting herself, she realized staying here, for the past few years, really changed her skin color.
Kung dati halos mag kasing kulay niya na ang gatas sa sobrang puti ngayon naman ay mag kasing kulay niya na ang alagang aso ng kaibigan niyang si Abba na kulay kayumanggi.
Instead of sulking about her sudden change, she felt proud actually. And yes. She prefers this version of her than before. Originally this is what she looked like when she was a child but after experiencing racism and discrimination against her kin, she was fed up and went down to rabbit hole to lighten up her skin.
Ano nalang kaya ang magiging reakyon ng mahal niya kapag nakita siya nito. Would he be happy? Makikilala pa kaya siya neto? Would he smile at her like he had always done? Hilaw nalang siyang napangiti sa mga na iisip niya. Andami ng lamag ng katanungan ang sa isipan ng isipan niya. Wala na sigurong araw na walang tigil siya sapag iisip ng mga katanungan na kahit kailangan ay hindi niya masasagot.
Dahan dahan na lumapit si Céline sa dalampasigan hanggang tuluyan ng nagtagpo ang kanyang binti sa tubig.
In her hands, she held a small bottle containing a secret letter, hoping somewhere in this world someone could pick up her letter and pass this to the one she loved.
She bends down to her knees until she puts down her small bottle and lets the wave take it to where it fully belongs. Céline didn't care if her clothes were starting to get wet. All she ever wants right now is to look at her letter till she loses sight of it.
"If god ever let me meet you again, promise hinding-hindi na kita papakawalan pa. I hope my letter will arrive to you, I will wait until that day comes..." A small tear escaped from her eyes falling into the ocean. " I love you... mahal na mahal kita, Voughan."
With a sad smile carved on her lips, she turned her back away from where she poured all her wishes and prayers. At tanging buhangin at tunog ng alon lamang ang nakakasaksi kung ilang butil ng luha ang kumawala sa mga mata niyang kumalima sa kalungkutan.
VOUS LISEZ
A Casanova's Love
Fiction généraleWhat does it feel to be loved by someone who committed himself to love you when he only thinks of you? Will you settle for that setup? Or not? .................................................................. WELCOM...
