I am Aegen. I am a creator. A creator of worlds, people, and stories.
My mind always comes up with ideas. Something fresh for me to make.
Unfortunately, motivation works against me, so I don't always write them.
In fact, this is one of the rare moments I write of my ideas at all.
In my mind are whole universes, and beyond that, a multiverse.
My main storyline is in a frozen state, as I have not written it out yet.
Oh, you thought I was some kind of god? No, not exactly.
Maybe to the worlds I created in my mind, I am. To the very characters I have fleshed out with creativity, they could view me as a... higher entity.
But to you, the reader, I am just another person like you, writing stories for fun.
So, I decided to write out my thoughts because I needed some way of bringing out motivation.
Now, where to start..?
A big part of an author's struggle is motivation.
I may have my brain bursting with ideas for a story, but motivation just doesn't cooperate.
An author must have an idea and motivation, then they must sieze the opportunity and start writing.
Which is exactly what I did to write this right now.
Whatever comes to my mind, I'm typing out.
The topic of worlds.
I have many.
There are too many, but I don't mind.
I'm proud of all my creations. Even though I haven't written them out yet.
Worlds with different lore, details, and most importantly — characters.
I made sure to make each character unique. Differing in personality and traits.
I don't know if I'm the first to do this, but I have sort of allowed some characters to encounter me — the author.
Of course, I made up a scene in my mind where they encountered me in a concievable form for them. A form that could interact with them in a way.
Though... when the character has a conversation with my... avatar, it's really just me talking to myself. I know exactly what the character will say, because it's my idea...
I will not spoil any names for the characters in my main storyline, but I can say that one character from a different storyline has encountered me.
He already had some mental problems. (courtesy of me writing him)
He had an existential crisis as the thought of everything he felt, did, and said was decided and written by me.
Everything he experienced was written by me.
Even the death of his loved one.
Let's just say whatever was left of his sanity was shattered further.
When an author writes the conflict, the villain, or the obstacle for a character in a story, it's literally the author's decision to let the characters suffer.
So the real villain is the author themself, isn't it?
An author is — to put it simply — a cruel 'god'.
I had this realization just moments before I started writing this very chapter.
I am cruel towards my own creations, yet I keep doing what I do.
Why? I don't even know.
I'd sound like a monster if I said I enjoyed what I do, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't.
I just gave myself an existential crisis.
This is why humanity can not be creators or gods.
What is the point of creating life if only to make them suffer?
I question my own actions when I think of ideas for my world. But I can't help it.
Despite all the suffering I put my characters through, I keep going.
Despite the pain I let them experience, the sorrow they feel, I keep going.
The joy in creating.
That's it.
My apologies for making you read through this. I know it seems pointless, but I needed a way to express my thoughts on writing.
If you wish, you can join me on my journey of creation. See my progress, all my thoughts, my point of view.
I will be publishing my 'worlds' eventually.
Patience is key.
