Ride or Die | Sam Fender AU

023

A knocking on your flat door tore you from your misery, prompting you to force yourself up from the sofa to answer it. Half of you was tempted just to ignore it but there was a niggling feeling in your gut telling you not to. That it would be worth your time.

You hadn't shifted from the sofa all day, only emailing your professors to tell them that you were ill as you didn't have the heart to drag yourself to your lectures. You didn't like the girl you were turning into, missing lectures for something as trivial as a fight with your boyfriend of not even a month. It wasn't you and you hated the way Sam seemed to be the reason for such changes but he made you feel like you were the only girl on earth and you couldn't help but practically fall at his feet when he did anything, blinded by his natural charm and rugged looks.

Warmth rushed to your cheeks as you came face to face with Sam, dressed in your pyjamas from the night before but the mixed feelings from the events of yesterday took precedence in your mind. The guilt still chipped away at you but your time apart had also nurtured your anger, both fighting to overpower each other.

"What are you doing here?" you asked quietly, noticing the grandiose bouquet of your white tulips clutched in his grasp.

"I came to apologise," he told you softly, offering you the floral arrangement. "These are for you."

"Thank you," you murmured, dropping your gaze and stepping aside to let him in. You closed the door behind him and wandered into the kitchen to place the bouquet in a vase with water, leaving them on the countertop. You could bring them to your room later.

You jumped when Sam's hand touched your hip and fought the urge to lean back into him. He might have come to apologise but you wanted to hear his apology before you fell back into his arms so easily. Your restraint was already hanging on by a thread so you hoped he would set the record straight. You missed him too much, even if you had seen him the day before.

"I'm sorry, little lamb, yer shouldn'ta seen what happened yesterday," he told you, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"Hang on, you're sorry I saw it?" you asked in disbelief, tearing away from him and twirling to face him.

"Lamb," he sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

"I think you should just leave, Sam," you swallowed thickly, averting your gaze to the floor. You hated the confrontation that came with relationships and you couldn't help but wonder if you would have been better off if you hadn't succumbed to your deepest desires in the first place. You certainly wouldn't have been trapped in that situation if you hadn't.

"Would yer just hear me oot?" he huffed.

Your lips pursed in a tight line as you considered his request for a prolonged moment, giving him a small nod. "Five minutes," you told him reluctantly.

"Thank you," he murmured, relaxing his shoulders and taking a daring step towards you. "Listen, I dunna what Liam's told yer but he's not a good man... it's a long story, can we sit down?"

"Sure," you agreed, walking straight past him to the sofa and sitting down.

"We used to be proper close when we were bairns," Sam swallowed as he took a seat beside you, watching you with wounded eyes. "He was my big brother like, I looked up to him."

"What happened?" you frowned.

"My father," he admitted quietly.

"Oh," you murmured, his words feeling like a blow to the gut. Of course it circled back to his dad. You should have guessed really.

"Liam started to change when he was about six or seven," he began. "Became cold towards me, teasing me and pushing me around. He'd seen what wor dad was like, watched as he berated me for being emotional and he started becoming like him. I think it was 'cause my dad was less cruel towards him but it didn't hurt any less. I didn't have any anger towards him for a while, he was my idol, so I let him push me around, took the awful things he'd say to me. Obviously, I'd get upset, so then I'd have my dad on my back, it was like a vicious circle. No escape."