𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐒. yoon jeonghan ✓

8. let's meet

— 10.04 PM _ 3RD PERSON

Jeonghan sat on the woody surface of the bench, following by with a deep sigh, he slipped his phone out of his pocket.

This past one hour, he has eagerly been waiting to call Joshua back. He couldn't talk to him when he had called because he was in the car with Mingyu. He wanted to be alone when he talked with him.

Jeonghan silently prayed that Joshua would pick up his phone because it has already been an hour since he had called, and it's possible that he's busy now or he's angry with Jeonghan for not answering the call earlier.

Each second that passed by with the call ringing, Jeonghan got more and more hopeless until it finally stopped ringing and silence could be heard from the other side for a few seconds.

"Hey" – "Hi" They both spoke in unison, making them both chuckle right after and silence fell upon them once again.

They both felt somewhat nervous. It's their first time talking to each other ever since Jeonghan left 6 years back. But despite the awkwardness that has fallen upon them and the nervousness in him, Joshua is determined to have this talk with him.

It took Joshua the whole day to finally make the decision and pick up the courage to call Jeonghan, he isn't gonna back down now. He has to do this, at least for his sister.

It has been almost 30 seconds of nothing but awkward silence. Jeonghan has already started kicking the stones on the ground with his feet, having a little playtime while Joshua's mind has been filled with many kinds of thoughts on how to start this conversation and he just can't come up with a good way to start.

"How have you been?" Joshua finally spoke, that's the best thing he could think of. He thought it would be better for them to talk casually and get a little comfortable before he starts getting serious.

"Me?" Jeonghan sighs before continuing again. "Honestly, I have no idea. Life has never really been good ever since I left Korea and now that I came back, hoping for things to get better, nothing is working out"

"It took you months to talk to me and I'm pretty sure you have a different intention than just wanting to talk to me again. I know it's about her, Shua. Just say what you wanna say. I brought this upon myself so I should bear with it"

Joshua couldn't help but chuckle slightly. Despite not having talked in years, Jeonghan still gets him like no one does. He has no idea how Jeonghan guessed that this is about Jiyeon but maybe it's a good thing that he did.

"What do you wanna say? Just say it. I'm ready to hear every curse you're about to throw at me" Jeonghan broke the silence this time, moving his body to get a better position on the bench to prepare himself for whatever Joshua is about to say to him.

"This is very messed up, Han" Joshua began, taking a pause before continuing.

"You probably don't know this yet and you weren't supposed to know it, but I have to tell you. Seungcheol and Soonyoung met Jiyeon a few days back. And the reason they didn't tell you anything is, I'm pretty sure you know that already"

"She doesn't want me to know" Jeonghan took the chance to speak when Joshua paused for a few seconds. "Yes"

Jeonghan had more to say but he didn't because he wanted Joshua to tell him everything clearly.

"I know that you two saw each other yesterday at the beach. I know everything, that you walked away right after seeing her and I honestly don't blame you too much for doing that but as her brother, because I feel her pain, I may have wished you wouldn't do that. And I know that's what she wanted as well"

"I know she isn't really ready to talk to you yet but she definitely didn't want to just see you walk away like you don't even know her at all, especially after having been possibly clicking photos of her — and that's Seungcheol's words by the way, he was the one who said that it's more than possible that you were taking her photos and not the sceneries"

"Yes, I was taking her photos and that's probably creepy and weird of me but I couldn't help it. She was right in front of me looking like the most beautiful person in the universe and I'm supposed to just stand there with a camera in my hand, not capturing that?"

Realization hit Jeonghan almost a minute later that he just exposed himself to her brother. And that happened all out of habit. He used to tell Joshua everything he felt about Jiyeon before, never holding back even if it was inappropriate, until Joshua would stop him.

"Well... I can't completely blame you, my sister is indeed the most beautiful but you should have had it in your mind who she was as well but I guess you can't help yourself, can you?" Joshua has no idea where this talk is going to go. He expected a serious talk, not Jeonghan being pure shameless.

"I'm sorry, Shua. I'm extremely sorry for everything that I did. I know I'm supposed to be saying this to her, not only you but everytime I see her, I feel like running away. Despite wanting to talk to her desperately, I keep wanting to run away when she's in front of me. I don't know how to tell her. I feel like I will just end up spewing nonsense when I'm with her"

"She still has that damn affect on me where I just can't say anything when I'm looking at her, she makes me speechless–" – "You trailed off again" Joshua cut him off, sensing that he just got caught away.

Jeonghan let out a sigh for the nth time tonight before continuing to speak once again.

"There's so many things I have to tell you, Shua. Why I left, what I did while I was there, why I didn't contact you two, why I cut contact with everyone at some point, why I came back and everything. Everything you might be questioning, I'm ready to tell you everything–"

"Then tell me, everything, from the very first day you decided to move to the US when you could easily stay here with you Grandmother like you did most of the time while you were here. I'm sure you parents wouldn't have disowned you if you had chosen to stay with your Grandmother"

"You surely knew what you had to let go if you had gone to the US, yet your chose to leave, not just her who loved you more than anything but also us, your friends"

Joshua spoke almost without a stop, his voice rising from time to time. He can't control himself. The image of his sister who suffered for years ever since he left them still breaks his heart. Not only was his sister broken but also his whole friend group. Maybe his friends weren't crying and didn't stop eating like his sister did but they all were surely hurt deep down after he stopped contacting everyone.

He doesn't remember seeing a genuine smile on Jiyeon's face until almost a year later, after he left. But it wasn't that easy to see her smile genuinely like that. It took a whole few weeks of plans and effort by his family to take her on her dream vacation, that made her smile genuinely and that was only once. She never smiled truly from happiness after that for a long time.

Jeonghan's heart felt heavy, as he thought about all the things he made her go through. He's aware it's not his fault, he's aware that everything Jiyeon has gone through has all been his parents' fault but he can't help but blame himself for being dumb enough to think they would let them be happy when they have never liked them together from the beginning.

"Let's meet, Shua. Anywhere you want to. I can go to Busan if you want me to. But let's talk in person rather than on the phone" Jeonghan is eager to tell him everything, in hope that after talking to Joshua, he might help him to talk to Jiyeon.

"Fine. Let's meet"