The Ability to Love (Dottore x fem!Y/N)

~Chapter 4~

smash /\ (@ sternwu on twitter)

TW: panic attack (?), death, implied human experimentation, mentions of attempted arson, and just uhhh overall crimes-

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...

This is a revival book.

...

I flipped through the pages further and came to realize that i was a real dumbfuck, because someone could've stolen it. I wouldn't have even noticed. 

I picked up a piece of paper and a quill. When I got this book, I was cursed by Celestia, so that if I ever do die, in some way, instead of just- whatever happens after death here in Teyvat-

...

I'd go to my own personal hell. Tailored just for me.

Celestia knew that I never liked boredom. So, I'm assuming that it might have something to do with that. In that case, I sure don't want to die anymore.

I shakily lowered the quill on the paper, and started writing something. I'd write my will. Just in case I do die.

I spent the whole night writing, and planning something out to prevent whatever death I could have. In any case, I have only three ways of death. 

The first way, is from abyssal power. But, not from lowly abyss mages or lectors, no. Something more like... What Childe described his master to be like. But worse, since it would have to be pure. That was the way I got this big crack on my leg. My mother had used pure abyssal power, and the scar has stayed ever since.

The second way, is the power of pure light. I've never seen it, but I managed to get my mother to say something about it once, so it's still important.

And the third. The most... disturbing one, probably. I have a self-destruct ability, which would be used only in last case scenarios. It works by summoning a black hole that would eat up the entire universe. It was made solely for the purpose of gambling. If I had lost everything else, and there was something that needed to be stopped... I would use this. Though, my mother made that for nothing, It's just gonna sit and collect dust.

Before I knew it, it was morning. I was so caught up in thinking that I barely noticed the sun rising. At this point, I had already wrote my will and goodbye letters. I got up and got ready, dreading the day that's to come.

I wasn't stressed about death anymore, no. I discarded that hours ago. I was now mainly thinking about the nightmares... no, memories. Memories that I've been having whenever I sleep. Does... Does Celestia really despise my existence that much?

Before I knew it, I was already at my mothers door. I knocked and came in before she could respond, then knelt down an asked what my missions are for the day.

She sighed and got up from her throne. She walked over to me and lifted my face, revealing my deadpan face as i just stare at her. "You're too old to be bowing to me in private, Y/N. Get up."

I got up, and looked down at her. I was taller then her, so it was a bit awkward, but nonetheless, my expression stayed straight as I awaited her next words.

"I suppose you can go on another mission with Dottore this week. Though, today you'll need to take a rest. You've been on too many missions this week." She says calmly, walking back to her throne.

"Mother, I am a puppet. You created me to not need rest."

"Correction; half puppet. You are still a living organism, Y/N. The only difference between you and normal people is that you weren't birthed, but created." she said as she sat down again.