A not so fake Christmas

Chapter 16

"So, Home Alone, huh?" I ask once the door is closed. Alex shrugs and sits down on her side of the bed. I sit down next to her but am unsure if I should take her hand or not.

"You really like that movie." This time it's not a question, it's a statement. Alex takes a breath and nods before looking at me.

"I know, it doesn't fit with me not liking Christmas but that's probably the only thing I actually enjoy during the holidays. It's my favorite movie, always has been. I know it's for children but it's just... comforting. We always used to watch it when I was a kid and back then Christmas was still fun. Sure, I fought with my siblings too back then but it was different. There were no responsibilities and no expectations. I could just be a kid and do whatever I wanted. No one expected me to bring a partner or asked why I don't have one. Watching this movie always reminds me of the times when the holidays were actually fun. And I have no idea, why I just told you that." She brushes it off with an unhumorous laugh.

Now it definitely makes sense. I already thought it might be a memory tied to this movie but I didn't expect it to be such a big one. And I certainly didn't expect it to be her favorite movie. It's sweet though and hearing her explanation makes it make sense.
I had good Christmases too but it was never tied to anything in particular and as I grew older, I started enjoying other things. For Alex it's clearly different, she doesn't like the holidays, apart from the tradition of watching this movie.

I witnessed myself how calm and quiet it was and enjoyed it. It did feel like everything was good and no one teased each other. Obviously, I don't know what it was like to grow up the way Alex did but I understand that watching this movie is like a safe space from questions and comments.

"Why wouldn't you tell me?" I ask gently. She shrugs and runs her hand through her hair. When she looks at me, I can tell she closed off a little and accept that. Opening up is never easy and it's normal to set your boundaries at some point.

I give her a small smile before getting up and going to the bathroom to brush my teeth and change. We might not go to sleep right away but I want to get comfortable in bed and that just works better when I'm in my pajamas.

When I reenter the bedroom, Alex is standing by the window, looking outside. She doesn't turn around when I close the door or put my clothes away. I slowly walk up to her but hesitate. Can she feel how close I am?
Or would she step away if she knew I was right behind her?

I carefully wrap my arms around her waist and when she doesn't move away, I get a little closer to hug her properly and rest my head on her shoulder.

"Today was actually quite nice and not nearly as bad as I thought." She admits, making me smile. The window looks out onto the dark frontyard. It started snowing a little again during dinner, so the tracks of earlier are probably hidden by now.

"Well, snow does make everything better." I hum. She puts her hands over mine and traces her pointer finger over my knuckles.

"It wasn't the snow that made today so great. It was you." She tells me. It feels like a bomb of happiness and giddiness exploded within me at her words. My smile is almost too big for my face to hold it.

"Thank you for that." With that, she turns around in my arms and faces me.

The only lights that are switched on are on the nightstand by the bed, so it's rather dark here. But I can still see the way her eyes soften a little as her hand gently brushes through my hair. Her new ways of showing affection manage to make my stomach flip every single time and I never know what to do with it. I decide to just go with it and enjoy the moment.

"I got you." I whisper and watch a real, big smile appear on her lips.

She nods and leans her head down. My heart suddenly beats twice as fast in excitement and I squeal internally when our lips meet. This isn't our first kiss today but somehow, it feels like it.
It feels new and thrilling and a little bit addicting.