Nothing to lose?~~~ Rafe Cameron

It's obviously a joke

Belle Carrington

The next 2 weeks that followed was a relatively low point in my life. I hardly spoke to the pogues because they knew something was off about me. I wasn't sleeping and i was hardly eating, all i could think about was the cocaine. 

JJ was the first to realise when he straight up asked me "Are you high" which was obviously followed by stutters from me as i had been thrown off at the question. Rafe continued to come over to my house, he doesn't know that i still take the drugs but i made Barry promise me he wouldn't tell him.

I was lying to everyone in my life and the worst part was i didn't even feel bad about it. I looked at it as my time to heal on my own, but i obviously wasn't getting very far. I was just using it as a distraction to stop the inevitable feelings over losing my best friend and everyone else. 

I wasn't even aware what day it was most of the time because i chose to spend my time either on Barry's couch or sat in my house alone staring at the wall. That was until Kie messaged me asking if i was going back to school tomorrow. Which i would have to face alone since the pogues went to school in the cut, honestly i couldn't think of anything worse. I don't even care about my future anymore, if i even have one left. 

The day i was supposed to return to school i decided i would rather go to Barry's house. Me and Barry actually built up a bond believe it or not, i couldn't find room to care for my past bad experiences with him. 

So it was midday and i was glued to Barry's couch so high my brain couldn't function until my phone started buzzing repeatedly. 

"Looks like you're urgently needed, princess" Barry spoke as he laughed and walked into the kitchen. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, expecting it to be Rafe asking where i am, to see a random phone number messaging me. "It's spam" I shouted towards Barry as he laughed and came back into the room with a new bag of cocaine. 

"Listen Belle. I'm not one to be preaching morals but you can't die of this shit." Barry said before he put the bag on the table in front of me. "Honestly Barry i could care less about that shit" i replied as i opened the bag and made up 4 lines for us both. 

Later on that night i decided i should head home because i was exhausted from doing absolutely nothing. I made it to my house and called Rafe to tell him i just went for a walk, he obviously didn't believe me and asked to come over which i said no to. 

I was just about to close my eyes before i heard violent knocking at my front door. I slowly got out of bed and walked down my stairs shouting "Rafe i told you not to come" but the knocking continued so i opened the door and just when i was about to start shouting i realised it was JJ, Kie and Pope at my door. 

"Oh" was all i said as i stood at my door confused. "Rafe? Why would he be here?" Kie questioned me. I obviously didn't tell them that i was still in communication with him because i knew the reaction wouldn't be worth it. 

"No he wouldn't i said it out of habit. What's up" I said as they all walked into my house so i closed the door behind them and followed them into my kitchen. "What's up? Have you not checked your phone recently?" Kie questioned me.

"No why. What happened?" i asked the group as i was now confused. To that Pope shoved his phone in my hand and forced me to look at the screen showing a photo of Sarah and John B. I handed the phone back to Pope and said "No i don't want to see this" as i started to walk away from them. 

JJ ran after me and grabbed my arm and said "No, read it" so i sighed and grabbed the phone back to see the messages that read "Laying super low in Nassau. Can you clear my name. I want to come home. Be in touch. P4L.".