❝ soul ❞ (the outsiders / johnny cade x reader) ˚⊹♡

chapter six :: the lot .

chapter warnings : mentions of abuse

i walked out of the school with johnny, averting my gaze to the ground, kicking a rock. he held his cigarette between his fingers. "um, you want one?" he asked shyly. "oh, no thank you, i don't smoke" i said, trying to be polite.  "you don't..?" he asked, confused. "uh, no..? do you not think you're a bit young to be smoking anyway?" i said, looking up at him, abandoning my rock. "man, i started smoking when i was nine.. it's normal down here to do that stuff". i was surprised at what he said, but i shrugged it off. i got a feeling that johnny was a relatively shy person, but i didn't know if it was because we'd only just met, or if he was like that with everyone. i analysed his characteristics carefully. i always did that when i was younger. living in a place like new york, you learn to be cautious about almost everyone you meet. even if it's your best friend. you stick within your group, and don't cross over with other people you don't know that well. kind of like greasers and socs. thinking about it now, maybe new york isn't as different as oklahoma is. johnny looked over at me, and i quickly looked away. 

we walked over and sat under a tree. it had started raining on the way over, but it was only a light drizzle, nothing too heavy. "do you come here a lot?" i asked quietly. "yeah. it's usually here or down at the curtis's house. i don't go home unless i need to."  i nodded gently. "why?" he looked away. "it's just- my parents have a bad temper, so i usually just try and keep out of their way. they don't really care 'bout me, so they don't notice" he said, his voice getting quieter as he went on. "sorry" i said quietly, internally hitting myself for bringing it up. johnny flicked his cigarette on the grass, putting it out with his shoe. "hey um, how'd you do that today?" he asked, and i could sense he wanted to change the subject, which made me feel worse. "do what?" "that thing in english, how'd you do it?" "i don't really know, honestly. i just tend to think that not everything is as it seems. i put myself in the scenario, and use my own personal experiences and things like that." johnny was smiling softly to himself. "your smart like ponyboy then i guess" he said, looking over at me. "i've never been smart like that. i got held back last year. i just don't get things like that, and the teachers just aren't really good at explaining things to me." "well, not everyone's smart academically, johnny, but your not dumb. there's different types of intelligence" i said, leaning my head back against the tree. "i am dumb, though. it doesn't matter 'bout other types of intelligence, if your not good in school, there's no point. i'm sixteen, though, so i can drop out. i probably will, but ponyboy keeps convincing me not to." i glanced over at him, and he was staring at the grass. "don't give up on yourself like that, johnny. hey, how 'bout you come over to my house after school tomorrow? i could try help explain some things to you. my brothers working late enough, and it's better then sitting out here in the cold." i pleaded. he smiled gently and nodded. "yeah okay, i guess. thank you" i moved away from the tree and layed down on the grass, staring up at the sky. johnny did the same, and we just started talking.

the rain had gotten heavier since we'd started talking, but then again we'd talked for what seemed all night. johnny was just easy to talk to. eventually, i saw my brother walking home. i gently sat up, and kept my eye on my brother to make sure i could catch up with him. "shoot, my brothers here. i'm heading home, are you sure you'll be okay out here in the rain?" "yeah, i'll be okay, thank you" i brushed off my knees, standing up. "bye johnny" "bye y/n" he said, half asleep. i ran over to my brother and his friends, who were play fighting on the ground. i didn't understand how my brother had gotten so close with them, they didn't suit him at all, but i didn't really care about my brother right now. i couldn't stop thinking about all the conversations johnny and i had. there were things i told him i haven't even told my brother, or my diary yet. i liked johnny. he just listened. actually listened. there was just something about him that i can't really seem to remember what it was. my brother quickly spotted me, and we walked home together, as he ranted on about all the things him and his friends did. i smiled gently, looking down. it was nice to see him happy, even if i didn't like his friends that much. we walked the familiar cobbled path, as the rain pelted down on us, the streetlights welcoming us home. i walked in the house, soaked. i kicked off my shoes, and walked upstairs. still no sign of dad. i retrieved my diary from under my bed, and i wrote everything. my wrist was numb by the end of it. i left my blinds up, though. i watched the stars, gently laying down until i fell asleep, the rain still pelting on my window.