Til The Bitter End | Alec Lightwood

38

"You aren't dead," I breathed.

When I thought about my past I remembered it. I could remember it all now. I opened one of the bottles drinking it as I looked out over the streets. My mind playing the memories. The good and the bad. Everything that I did with Clary.

Everything that we've gone through. Everything I've sacrificed for her. The tears fell before I realized I was crying. Jace was supposed to go after her. I saved him for her. I saved the love of her life for her, but she wasn't here. It wasn't true. I've avoided death on many occasions. She isn't dead.

Morgenstern's didn't die. Not us. Not her. Not me. When I finished the bottle I held the empty thing over the edge of the roof letting it fall shattering on the pavement. It was the alley so no one would step on it tomorrow if they walked through.

"Lena." I grabbed another bottle.

"She's not dead," I took another long sip. Alec came forward leaning against the roof's edge and looking over at me. "I'm glad you okay." I smiled at him as the tears fell. He tilted his head at me his eyes softening. "Out of all of this at least you're alive." The chemical burn came back up my throat.

"I'm sorry, Lena." He whispered. I shook my head.

"I made decisions," I wiped my cheeks. "I don't regret them." I chose to leave her there. I trusted that she could take care of herself. "How is Jace doing?"

"He's trying," Alec admitted. "How are you?"

"How long have I been unconscious?" I asked.

"Three days. It's not long, but most of them didn't think you were going to wake up," Alec breathed. "I didn't know if you were going to wake up."

"I would die for you." Alec clenched his jaw.

"I know, Lena. But what makes you think I can live without you," He breathed. "I don't care if I'm dying, but you aren't sacrificing yourself for me. You've done it for too many people. I can't watch you die, Lena. I can't." He shook his head.

"And you think I can watch you die!" I yelled. "Alec you're the first person to ever care for me. Truly care. If you died I would slip. If you die, I'm dead beside you. I can't live without you and I know that selfish to Isabelle, but I can't lose you. I've lost too many people already. I've lost so much." Alec stepped closer to me touching my arms. "I won't lose anyone else." A raindrop hit my forehead as I looked up seeing more fall.

"Let's get back," Alec reasoned.

I moved off the roof's edge moving to the middle as I started to dance in the ran as it grew more aggressive. The bottle was still gripped in my other as I looked around the city.

"I love the rain," I took in a deep breath. Alec had his arms crossed over his chest as he looked at me. His hair soaked and pressing against his forehead. I set the bottle down and moved toward him.

"We should get back, you could get sick," Alec reasoned. I smiled and grabbed his arms moving my fingers until I grabbed his hands.

"Dance with me."

"Lena, I can't dance."

Alec's body was stiff as I pulled him to the middle of the rain. I did a little twirl as I moved with him. The alcohol had gone to the front of my brain as I curled in wrapping myself in his arms I laughed then I rolled out and spun looking up at the sky. I paused seeing Alec staring at me. I pushed my hair back out of my face.

"What?" He moved forward pulling me toward him by the back of my neck as he kissed me. Our lips were wet from the raindrops. "I love you." He pressed his forehead to mine as I smiled.