Forsaken Mate

Into the Woods

Shaking my head, I stab my food and shovel it into my mouth, ignoring Rafael's amused gaze and lopsided grin.
"I am curious, though." Rafael shifts on the stoop, turning to face me directly, his leg pressing into the side of mine. Heat ignites at the point of contact and ripples through me. I hate this. And I will force myself to hate him if that is what it takes.
I begrudgingly swallow the delicious and not-at-all-tough meat. "About?"
"How did you come out here in the first place?"
"I volunteered," I lie. "During training, I showed an aptitude for guard work and volunteered to be a sentry out in the deep woods. Since it's far from the packhouse and the central territory, I set up a place to stay."
"You must be very dedicated to River Crest to accept such a lonely post."
"With all my heart and soul," I snort.
"Makayla—"
"You want another beer?" I'm up and halfway to the cooler before he can respond. I don't know why I ran just now. It's just... the way he said my name made everything in me do a flip. His eyes were sad when he mentioned River Crest and then that tone. Goddess above, what was that tone?!
I plunge my hand into the icy slush and let it prickle my sink and clear my thoughts. As it starts stinging, I pluck out two more beers and let the lid slam closed.
"What's Io like?"
Thankfully, he takes the hint and the beer, shifting the conversation away from me.
"It's beautiful. The most beautiful place in the world," he hums, eyes closed with a dreamy smile on his lips. "Mountains, rivers, plains that stretch out into the horizon. Great for running and hunting. And when you look up into the sky at night, it's almost like you're there, floating with the stars in space."
"Io sounds incredible."
"It is!" He smiles and leans close, whispering into my ear as though revealing a deep secret. "And the pack is structured so that it doesn't matter a wolf's background. They can be whoever and whatever they wish."
Imagine a place like that. I can't picture it. But I want to. I want him to whisper all about it. I want to feel his warm breath on the side of my neck again as he tells me about every dream and memory he's ever had in the wonderful, magical place that created him.
"Tell me more. Please?"
- - -
The fire's dying, and we've killed six more beers from my cooler. There's no more meat, no more vegetables, no more drinks, no more stories of Io, no more questions and evasive answers to give, and barely a sliver of space between us as we lean against a fallen tree near the dimming embers.
"I can't see the stars from here," Rafael grumbles. "All these trees, it's like they hide me from the Goddess. She can't see us."
"Maybe it's for the best," I sigh. "I don't want her to see me like this. I don't want her disappointed in what I've become."
"What are you talking about?" He snaps upright, and I nearly fall into the spot he left behind. Was I leaning on him?
"I'm a mess, Rafael. A mess." My slurred confession brings a scowl to his face.
"You are not a mess," he says, pouting like an angry child.
"I am, and I'm tired of pretending I'm not!"
Jabbing my finger into the brick wall of his chest is a mistake that I make three or four times before he grabs hold of my shoulders and pins my arms between us.
"You aren't. You're... beautiful." As the last word falls from his lips, all the petulant anger dissolves, replaced by softness that breaks my heart.
"You're only saying that because you haven't met the real beauties of River Crest." I wriggle out of his hands and try to put some distance between us, but his arm snakes around my waist and holds me in place.
"That's not true."
"Our future, Luna, Quinn, is a real beauty. Drop dead gorgeous. A pretty blonde thing that makes all the boys go crazy." Why am I saying all of this? Why am I just sitting here, letting him hold me against his hot body on the cold, hard ground?
My head buzzes, and my hands roam up his thick biceps. This is bad.
"Fuck her." He pulls me tighter against his chest, resting his forehead against mine. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."
"You're drunk. I'm drunk. We're drunk, and you'll regret every word when you sober up," I sigh, letting my eyes flutter shut. "You'll take the official tour tomorrow and realize I'm just the ugly little nothing in a broken-down trailer. And you'll fall for some pretty, petite thing with pale skin and pouty red lips."
"You don't know what you're talking about." He pulls back just enough for me to slip away again, this time getting to my feet.
I take a deep breath and let the world spin a moment before finding his massive figure in the dying light. Even in the dark, he's beautiful. "I know. I know what I'm saying, and I know that it's true, even if you don't. You're gonna find out just how wrong you are."
"No."
"Yes!" I laugh despite the ache in my chest. Maybe because of it. "And when those pack bitches see you? Oh, they're going to throw themselves at you. Take your pick, handsome. You can have any one of them you want."
"Is that right?" he growls, approaching me slowly as the final embers give off their last sparks. "I can choose whoever I want?"
"S-Sure." Stumbling backward in the dark, I'm suddenly sobered by his aura again. It's rolling off him in waves, this strong, dominating energy. It's not agitated or aggressive, but still stirs something within me. "No doubt you'll find some suitable women to bed at the bonfire at the packhouse tomorrow night."
"Will you be there?" he asks, his deep voice rumbling in the shrinking distance between us.
"No. I don't... I don't participate in those kinds of activities."
"Then I won't be going either." He shrugs, and my back presses against the outside of my trailer. Within a few steps, he's closed the gap. I've nowhere to go.
"But—"
"Why waste time when the one I've chosen won't even be there?" His fingers graze my neck, and I momentarily forget how to breathe.
I brush off his hand, only to find his other tracing up my side, leaving a trail of heat on my skin. My heart's pounding in my chest; I'm running out of excuses to push him away. "You've made the wrong choice, Rafael."
"I don't think so." His roaming hand latches to my waist and pulls me off the trailer. I can see his wolf's eyes shining in his gaze, that hungry, feral stare of wanting. It's so different from Wesley and Alpha Nolan's. Gentle even amid heated desire.
"You don't know any better," I whisper. My resolve is failing. Please, Goddess, please take this man from me. Take him far away where he will never find out the truth and come to hate me like everyone else. Please.
"I know well enough what I like and what I want." He cups my face with his free hand, his rough thumb stroking my bottom lip. "I know who I want. Even if she doesn't seem to understand."
"I understand that you don't know me." I push against his chest, an act of futility. He's not going anywhere.
"I like to think I'm a pretty decent judge of character. Which is why I don't understand how you have such a low opinion of yourself."
"I've got... history."
"Yes, you've mentioned that history several times this evening. Every time I tried to learn more about you, about your life, you mentioned this complicated history with River Crest." His wolf flashes in his eyes as he growls the name of my pack as if the mere mention of it threatens his control. "I can't even imagine what these assholes have done to make such an amazing woman turn in on herself."
"Rafael—"
"I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to tear them all apart for it."
I don't doubt for a second that he could. The anger and sheer power rolling off him make my legs quiver. I quickly shift from trying to push him away to holding him tight. I could lie and say it's to steady myself, but I fear he will trek up to the packhouse and do precisely as he says.
No one in River Crest is powerful enough to stop him. Hell, I don't think his own alpha could stop him. It's up to me.
"It's not worth all that. I'm not—"
"I swear to the Goddess, if you say you aren't worth it, I will prove you wrong and do it."
I swallow my words immediately. I need a different approach. He can't get tangled up with me. I won't allow it. He's the first person besides Alpha Thane to look at me without pure hatred in his eyes. He's the first I've ever talked to like a regular person. He's the first to laugh and drink with me. And he would be the first to...
And when he finds out I'm the daughter of an alpha killer, he'll look at me with the same disgust everyone else does. Only it'll be worse because I'll have known how sweet it is to have his smiles and kisses and touch. And I'll never get them again.
It would be better to never have it at all. Better to never feel him and then miss him once he's gone.
"It would be wise for you to choose someone better to shack up with during your stay."
"There is no one better. And I don't want that." He presses a kiss against my forehead, lacing his fingers into the thick curls at the nape of my neck.
"Fine! It'll be easier for you if you don't associate with me."
"I don't want that either." Another kiss on my temple as his hand slips beneath my shirt, fingers tracing the curve of my side. I'm losing... focus.
Focus, Makayla!
"What do you want?!" I snap, unable to do anything else. He's got me. Pinned, pressed, trapped between him and a wall of sheet metal. His nose brushes mine, and I offer one final prayer to the Moon Goddess, but I already know her answer. Just like I know his.
"You."