Ephemeral

Being slapped hurts, but the deepest wounds are in your soul

As I headed downstairs the next morning, I realized how tired I was from the night before. My eyes wanted to close again and my legs wanted to go back to my nice, warm bed.

Because it was surprisingly cold today for the end of August. I wanted to enter the entrance hall to grab something to eat before we had to go to church, but I heard Stefan and Damon arguing with our father.

"Father, you can't do this to her. She's barely grown up and you want to marry her? Do you really not care about your daughter's well-being?" 

I could only remember a time when I had seen Stefan more angry and upset. At that time, father wanted to send me away to England. 

And he did it. He managed to persuade our father. I knew he really cared about me, otherwise he wouldn't do so much for me.

"Skarlett is doing well. I chose Robert Fell for her for a reason. He is a dutiful young man who is also on the city council. He will treat her we-;", he almost shouted at my two brothers.

But I knew what he was trying to say wasn't true. In no other life or alternate universe would Robert Fell treat me well. 

He was a real jerk, as any girl who had anything to do with him could attest to.

Luckily my father couldn't finish his sentence. He was interrupted by Damon.

"No father, he won't treat her well. And you know that. Everyone knows the rumors going around about him. You ignored them.", he knew he was right during saying this. We all knew.

"You just wanted to punish Skarlett. Even though she didn't even do anything. And you know that this is how you punish us too. You want to hurt us over and over again. Mentally and physically. But let me make one thing clear. One more action like that from you and you can be sure that we will try everything possible to get away. Break. Off. This. Engagement."

I knew Stefan had gone too far. He knew it too. And we all knew what was about to come. And I discreetly ran into the entrance hall.

"How dare you talk to me like that, son? You have no right to do that," he shouted at Stefan.

Then he raised his hand. We knew he was going to slap Stefan.

And then it hit me badly in the face. It felt like a needle being pierced through my cheeks. A really sharp needle. It was so hard that I could barely stand and staggered away trying to keep my balance.

At the last moment I put myself between Stefan and my father.

I gasped in pain and slid down a wall to the floor. Father glanced at me briefly and then disappeared into the adjacent room without any other movement.

"Skarlett." Stefan shouted with concern in his voice. "Do you hear me? Is it very bad? It looks like it."

It felt like that too. It hit me so hard that everything was spinning and half my face was on fire.

"Yes. Yes. Everything is fine. Don't worry.", I lied. I knew Stefan didn't believe me and was still worried. ut the truth would make me weak.

And I never wanted to admit weakness again.

Stefan gave me his hand to help me up. I accepted it gratefully and tried not to waver as I stood again.

But my twin brothers immediately noticed my uncertainty and gently held me by the shoulders. 

"Skarlett. Why would you do that? Why did you come before me? It should have hit me."

"No Stefan. Our father wanted to slap you, I know that. But you stood against him for me. So I'm the one who deserves this slap.", I contradicted him.

He had gone against father to protect me. There was no way he was guilty of anything.

"No. Why would you say that? You don't deserved this. No one deserves this."

I wanted to believe him. Really. But I only saw my own fault in everything. 

Wouldn't everything be easier for them without me? If my father had really sent me away back then? 

I didn't have to ask. I knew the answer my brothers would give. And I knew the real answer to that question. They were opposites.

Of course I was glad that Stefan and Damon cared about me. I always was. But when I leafed through my life like a bad book, I couldn't find anything other than those two that really kept me here.

Tears had formed in my eyes. Again. I tried to blink them away. 

"It's okay.", Stefan whispered, knowing that I don't like loud noises yet.

But it wasn't true. It wasn't okay. Nothing was ever okay. 

My rock walls, which I had always carefully built up in my mind, were partly torn down. 

I wrenched myself out of Stefan's embrace and stormed up the stairs. 

The mirror that was in my room looked older than it was. And he showed my terrible reflection. I didn't want to look at myself, but I had to.

I had to in order to be strong. Looking into my own green eyes, I took a deep breath. And out again.

It was my tactic to get back down, my tactic to avoid a collapse.

And that was especially necessary in the last few weeks, because crying fits increased the likelihood of my breathing problems.

And I wanted to avoid this as much as I could before father found out about it. Or anyone else in this city who wasn't named Stefan.

We only had one here. And I was really sincerely grateful to my brother for what he did for me. I didn't want to be a burden to him. I didn't want to be a burden to anyone.

But I guess I was, and that felt terrible. So I had to deal with myself more.

When I had taken as many deep breaths as I had spent years here, I sat down on my bed.

I didn't want to go to church now. I did not feel well. But emotional damage has never been a reason to excuse yourself from something. You would have to suffer.

Although winds of this nature were worse than any injury I had ever experienced.

But if I didn't go to church, people would talk. Although they will do that anyway, given to the fact of my cherry colored cheek.

My cousin always said, head first so things don't get any worse.

I would like to believe her at this moment.