"Ugh let me go!" I screamed. His grip on my hair was too strong, almost feeling like my hair strands were coming off.
"Talk to me like that again, I dare you bitch" his voice was rough and low. The grip on my hair tightened making me yelp in pain. I cried out this time, tears started to slip from my already swollen eyes.
I tried to hold his hand that was gripping on my hair but he's strong... just too strong for me.
"TYLER PLEASE! YOU'RE HURTING ME!" I screamed, tears violently falling.
"Oh? I am?.." he laughed. So cruelly, making me question my whole existence.
Where the hell did I go wrong?
Why... just why is he acting like this?
Wasn't I his first love?
Just where did I made a mistake that he turned this way?
"Say, why are you crying now? Didn't you know... you do a mistake, you get punishment. What's there to cry about vallerie baby?" He whispered in my ear. I shiver in horror as I tried to back away from him but his hold on my hair was still so strong.
"I love you tyler, and so do you! isn't that enough for you to treat me right.." I tried to play cool. Maybe this way he would not torture me tonight at least.
He looked at me with a curious look that made me shiver unknowingly before he cracked into a laugh. He nodded his head casually before he kneeled down to me, letting go off my hair. His hand slowly reached my cheeks as I closed my eyes waiting for him to hit me. Well that's what he does nowadays.
But I didn't feel the stinging feeling of slap on my face, instead I felt his hand caressing me. It feels so good that I couldn't help but get shock by the feeling as I slowly open my eyes and look at him.
Tyler was staring at me, his brownish eyes softly looking at me as if my old loving boyfriend was back.
His hand that kept caressing my cheeks now were wiping the tears away as he sadly gaze at me.
What is wrong?
Is he pitying me?
Or did he feel guilty?
Or did he just acted?
Every night is the same.
It starts with violence and ends with him sympathising me like I'm a doll of his. But honestly speaking, the aftercare makes me forget everything... and forgive him.
How can't I?
I love him.
He is my boyfriend. Even though he has turned cold hearted, I still love him. Will always do..
"Did it hurt? Did I pull your hair too hard?" He asked. His brownish eyes almost hiding under his brown bangs, his soft pink lips were in a thin line as if he was guilty more than any day.
"Yeah it hurts so much... just tell me what is bothering you? I'm sure I can help with it even if mentally" i softly said, sobbing in between as I held his rough hand in mine.
He looked down at my hands and widened his eyes a bit as he smiled bitterly before he looked at me with a look I couldn't understand. He looked sad? Helpless? Scared? I just didn't know.
"Vallerie... What if I tell you, I don't love you anymore?"
I gasped hearing him, I was expecting this but how can I leave him-
"But love you more than anything at the same time?" He added. I wide eyedly looked back at him. He had a soft and hated both look on his face.
He still looked so beautiful. So innocent, I can't believe he is the same person a few seconds ago. Even now when he is saying so many cruel words to me, I can't help but love him.
"Tyler... I-"
"Vallerie, i don't wanna hurt you but there's too much stress at work i just can't help myself.. what should I do?" He asked, his voice low and weak.
I looked at him for a few seconds before saying anything I sighed.
"If you promise to not leave me.. i guess you can even hurt me if it helps you.." I smiled and he softly blinked his brown eyes.
He took my hand in his one and brought it close to his face before kissing it.
"Promise then" he chuckled.
I smiled through tears. Toxic, so toxic yet I can't just seem to let go off the feeling of it.
We stayed like that for some time, the moon reflecting on us from the glass window.
He promised me he won't leave me.
But why just why do I always forget?
That,
''Promises are made to be broken..''
