P.S.............

Declan

I smile as I kiss the letter and put it in the box with the others. It's been almost a year since we started writing, and I'm packing up all of Amber's letters to take with me back home.

Home.

It's been so long since I've been excited about that word. Now it means more than just a destination or a country. It means getting to see Ames.

I never thought I could care this much about someone I've never met. But it feels as if the letters have taken away all of the bullshit and left us with nothing but simple truth. It feels like I've come alive, and for the first time in my life, I'm on the right path.

The path to Amber.

Our letters have turned into so much more than just saying hello and answering questions. I've written out quotes from authors I love, and I've sent her poems written by greater men than I. It's the only way I can say 'I love you' in a letter to her. Because the first time I say it to her, I want to say it to her in person. I want her in my arms the first time she hears it from me. Because I do. I'm hopelessly in love with her.

Every letter, she asks me about the PS and why I leave it blank. I'm going to tell her, and I'm going to say all the words I've been holding back, saving them for when I can say them against her lips.

"Sergeant Major, the squad is ready." King says as he grabs my bag and carries it out of the room. I place the bundle of Amber's letters in my daypack and sling it over my shoulder. I'm keeping the essentials with me as we travel back home, the rest of my stuff going into cargo.

I wrote one final letter to her, and I'm mailing it out today. It will take me a couple of days to get back home, but if I time it right, she'll get it after I arrive.

I'm not allowed to tell her exactly when I'm coming home. Troops can't divulge any movement in an area, even if it means telling family when we're leaving. It's too dangerous and would give away positions, so in order to keep everyone safe, the date is secret.

As luck would have it, I'm touching down in Texas, our entire platoon meeting at Fort Worth. Once I dismiss my men, they can travel back home while I finish up my paperwork for retirement. Nothing moves fast in the Marine Corps, but it shouldn't take too long. I'll just have to sign documents and then I'll be able to leave for home.

I'll be free to do what I want. And at the top of that list is Amber Hill.

I keep worrying about what's going to happen when she sees me. Will she be upset I just showed up at her house? Will she turn me away? Will she run up and hug me and tell me she's been waiting?

Our squad had a few hours of leave and I was able to find a phone and call her. She'd given me her number a long time ago when I asked for it, 'just in case.' We only had a few hours to talk, but every second of that, I spent on the phone with her.

We talked and talked, but I can't remember what was said. I just remember my face hurting from smiling and my belly aching from laughing so much.

Her voice, goddamn, her voice. I could have lain there for days just listening to her. It made going back to letters a little harder after that, knowing what it was like to hear her say my name, knowing how pleasurable it was to listen to her soft giggles.

One day I'll tell her about how many times I jerked off after that phone call, remembering her soft sighs and thinking about her mouth. Jesus, I came so many times, it was comical. But afterwards, when we left, I was sad for a few days because I wasn't able to hear her voice again. It was a big crash after such an amazing high.

When I got her next letter, though, it was nice to read it with her voice in my head. It was if she was reading it to me, and it made it a little easier to take.

"Is that all, Sergeant Major?" King has come back in and awaits my instructions. I hold out the letter to him.

"Make sure this gets in the post today. The squad that's staying behind still has mail going in and out. And tell them I want whatever is sent to my attention returned to the sender. Understood?"

"Yes, Sergeant Major." He takes the letter and leaves as I join my squad.

* * *

I've been on the plane for a few hours now, and everyone is settled in for a long flight. I close my eyes and lean my head back, trying to get some sleep. I do the same thing I always do every time I close my eyes.

I think about Amber.

I remember her bright eyes from the pictures she sent me. Her gorgeous red hair, her delicate fingers twisting a lock around them. Her soft creamy skin begging me to kiss it. Her full lips smiling at me, laughing in a few of them. I have etched into my mind every single detail of her. I could die tonight and if a few pictures and her voice were all I ever got, I'd die a happy man.

I know this is all crazy and seems so ridiculous, but I've fallen in love with a woman I've never met. Yet she knows me better than anyone on this planet. She has seen what's truly inside my heart, and she's brought out the best parts of me.

Amber did all this from the other side of the world. I can hardly imagine what holding her in my arms will do to me.