The Alpha's Mistress

27

"And Violet?"

My leg shakes under the table as I tap my foot incessantly against the ground.

"It is possible that I can work on her confidence. She's intelligent and knows a lot about how this Pack runs, due to her father's position as one of father's old advisors. She has a lot of potential."

Mother places her profile with Willow's, my reasoning satisfying her.

"You have a week to decide on a wife."

Panic erupts in my chest. "Mother-"

She holds her hand up, silencing my protests like she would when I was a child. They die on my lips, but I won't be able to push down my feelings much longer.

"I know I seem cruel, but this is for your benefit. Alpha Zion's eyes have turned to you, and he wants the territory your grandfather obtained from him during the Fifth War," she says calmly. "You need an heir, and soon."

I drop my head into my hands. "Yeah, I know."

My life is always at risk. An heir assures my people there's someone to take over power were harm ever to befall me.

"Perhaps in your next life you'll find love," she adds softly.

"Lucky me." It's not fair.

My heart aches. It feels like death is pulling my ribs apart, reaching in with its slender fingers to grab it and squeeze tightly.

Mother clasps her hands together on the table. I can't tell if she truly feels sorry for me, or if she's glad I've finally bent to her will.

"I hear Sienna is planning on moving."

"She is. I'm happy for her," I force out. I am, genuinely. I just wish her being happy didn't destroy mine in the process, but I'm willing to sacrifice my future for hers. It's not even a question.

"I believe you are, truly." Mother reaches out and rests her hand atop mine. "But I know this hurts you, son."

"She's my best friend. I haven't had to be without her for nearly ten years," I breathe.

Mother's stare is heavy. "Do you love her?"

"Of course."

"No. I mean love her," she clarifies.

I pause.

I've never been verbally confronted with such a question. The thought has briefly crossed my mind and I've shoved it aside, knowing it only hurts to acknowledge it.

My relationship with Sienna has always been complicated. Easy in some ways, but complicated in others.

We've always avoided any romantic moments, but we've lived with the obvious, burning tension between us. It's easier to avoid our feelings than play around with them when they are liable to hurt us.

But am I in love with Sienna?

I see Sienna, and it's like an immediate wave of relief. It's like I was in pain and I didn't know it until she entered my presence and relieved me of it. She consumes my very being. She exists permanently in my thoughts. It's a sweet, addictive torture.

"I think I am in love with her," I tell my mother gently.

She looks away for a long moment, considering my feelings as both a mother and as an ex-Luna.

"The sacrifices we must make for our Pack are cruel, aren't they?" She murmurs.

I see genuine guilt for her birthing me into a life I have no other choice but to comply with. She knows that in some ways I am blissfully lucky, and in others, I suffer immensely.

"I want to enjoy being Alpha. Instead, I find myself thinking about the ways I can get out of doing this," I tell her earnestly.

"You were born for this. It's in your blood," Mother insists with a sad smile. "More importantly, it's in your heart."

She's right, it is. I love being Alpha, and I love serving the members of my Pack. But at the same time, I can't help but wonder if there is something I would like more...

Like a marriage born from love, not an obligation.

"So is Sienna," I say.

"I never wanted to marry your father, as you well know. But I came to love how he ruled, how strong he was," mother muses, squaring her shoulders back. "I may not have been in love with him, but I found so much joy in being Luna. I have no regrets."

That's all I want for whoever I ultimately choose. But being Alpha may never be enough for me.

"She's all I think about," I breathe, the desperation bleeding into my voice.

I've tried not to resent my mother for this life, but it's hard. None of us know what would happen were I truly to marry Sienna, but I could make it work. I would show the Pack how better I can lead them when I'm actually happy.

Lucia will never take a risk, though. She would rather see me unhappy than stray from tradition.

She stands from her chair, sweeping around the table. She glides into one next to me, taking my hands in hers.

"Were customs not so important, I would encourage you to follow your heart," she says softly. "I wish more than anything that Sienna came from a strong, Noble bloodline."

Raw, aching emotion grips my throat, creating a lump almost impossible to swallow past.

It's no longer a want I have. It's a desperate need, and to resist chasing after it is taking a physical toll.

"But she doesn't," I whisper, a tear I didn't realise had gathered in my eye rolls down my cheek. I quickly wipe it away, hating my mother's pitied look.

"No, which means you must pick another. As hard as that is, you're strong," she assures me, offering a smile that only makes my stomach turn. "You need to let her go."

I open my mouth to respond, but a blood-curdling scream echoes through the manor.

My mother stiffens, looking at me with wide eyes. "What was that?"

I launch from my chair. "Someone is hurt."

I don't wait for her to catch up. Following where I think the sound came from, I head upstairs and toward the guest wing. As I draw closer to Willow's room, I hear sobbing coming from behind the door.

Drawing in a breath, I turn the knob and step inside.

Willow is lying half off her bed, her body slumped and limp, her skin discoloured. On the floor is a pile of vomit, and beside that, her sister's hunched form as she sobs hysterically.

Yet another girl is dead. Murdered.

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~Midika 💜🐼