Free write book

T, M, B, K, D

T: I did it again
M: what did you do?

T: I lashed out again in anger
M: you can't always do that you know..

T: yeah. Maybe I'm horrible
M: just because you've spoken horrible and acted out of anger doesn't mean you can't change

T: but I have changed... I'm healing, but I mess up every time. It's like it's a pattern. I hurt K. I caused B to stop speaking to me. And I lashed out at D.
M: you can't use your mental health as an excuse to hurt others. You must control it. B forgives you, and so did K and so will D.

1 year ago September 17th 2023
B: dear T, I can't do this. You're clingy and you complain every single day. You wish to be better but yet you choose to dwell in negativity. I have to let you go. Maybe when you change. We can try again.
T: ...
T: *laughs*
T: WTF B
T: We can talk about this. Whatever I did wrong I'm sorry.

1 year ago October 2023
T: YOURE MY PROBLEM K. YOU NEED TO SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE.
K: ...
T: I'm sorry K.. I'm sorry
M: let her speak stop rushing her

1 year later... December 2023
D: you can text me when you need me because apparently you aren't ready to tell me what's wrong. I hope you feel better.
T: ...
T: maybe because I was in the shower and I couldn't text you
T: look I'm sorry I was being dry
T: you okay?
T: D, I'm sorry that I've been a bad friend to you...

T: maybe I'm horrible. I caused B to stop talking to me. D hasn't texted me back
T: I literally been journaling and trying but nothing I do can fix my anger...
T: I don't deserve anyone
T: who am I?
T: why am I hard on myself?
T: I'm not perfect
T: I'm scared to love someone, I may hurt them.
T: I loved B soo much. These feelings are confusing. She doesn't feel the same. I don't deserve her.
T: ...