Dead Dreams

Twenty-three

His hold on me is loose, I could pull my hand back if I wanted. I don't really feel like it though. At least in one hand, my fingers won't be turned into bone-sicles. My breath fans out in front of me in a cloudy mist, informing me of the dropping temperature. I probably shouldn't separate myself from the group from now on. It's too cold to be alone in the woods. Too many risks. I don't regret going out alone though. I needed the space and I knew it wasn't far from everyone else.

Iris leads me through the forest at a moderate pace. I'm not focusing too much, but when he pulls back a branch that's in my way, it draws my attention. He's strangely affectionate. I would have thought that growing up by himself would have made him less sociable, but I guess true personality will always show through.

I wish my personality was like that too. Maybe it would be easier to make friends.

Unintentionally, I sigh. Iris' head half turns back to me.

"What are you thinking about?" His words take me off guard. I stay quiet as I struggle to come up with something.

"Home." I only realize the topic is equally as bad once it's come out of my mouth.

"That sigh sounded particularly depressing. Would you care to share what about your home makes you feel that way?"

"No." I say, not hesitating or thinking about it too much.

Iris stops suddenly, turning around and looking right at me. His face doesn't give away anything. I don't think he's mad, but I still take a step back.

"Is your home...not a good place?" He frames the question carefully, but I still don't like it.

"It's not bad." I stay as neutral as I can when I say that.

Iris hums, not in agreement, but in deliberation. It's a long, stagnant sound that sounds like a music note because of his voice.

"I don't believe you, but I'll wait until you want to tell me about it." With that, he turns back around and continues to lead me to the rest of the group, which looks to be a short distance away, an orange glow indicative of a fire.

I really shouldn't have said anything about my home. If nothing else, I don't want Iris to know about that. I don't want anyone to know about it really. Well, it's not like there's anything to know about it anyway. It wasn't...that bad. It would be stupid to tell someone something like that when other people go through more all the time. I'm fine.

The fire is a lot clearer as we get closer. It's impressive that they managed to build one so large. Maybe it was because of Iris' help? He probably knows a lot about that stuff actually.

As we make our way into the area, the first person I see is Shiloh, happily eating his dinner. He looks up from his lap to wave at us.

"There you guys are. I thought you might have gotten lost for a second. Is your ankle feeling better Ruth?" He seems to be in a good mood, so despite the lingering sting, I nod.

"Yes I am, thanks for asking."

I jump when another voice intervenes. "Yup, don't acknowledge us or anything. We're fine." It's flat, but I pick up on the fact that it doesn't have the same bite it usually does. She doesn't really...mean those words. I turn to my left and see Ashlynn and Jenny seated a bit farther away from the fire. They are not eating anything.

I stare at Ashlynn for a few seconds, trying to figure out what the hell goes on in her mind. I know I would absolutely never know the answer to that, but at least I can say I tried understanding her. I face Shiloh again, who seems to be at a loss for what to do. He looks in between the two of us like we may work something out, but I can't say I'm interested. At all.