🖋️

"Hey."

I crawled into bed one night — one midnight. It was the only time I had to be with him. I stared into his eyes, laid my hands on his chest, and kept myself close to him as he talked about everything and nothing. I didn't realize I was already dozing off until he nudged me.

"A."

"Hm?" I hummed, eyes half-closed.

"I think that's enough for today," he decided.

I stirred, trying to look more awake even though a yawn bubbles up to betray me. "I'm fine. Go on. What happens next?"

Stubbornly, he shook his head and pulled me back to his embrace. "No. You should be resting."

"Amfaynnnee," I muttered, half-asleep.

He was silent for a while. I almost drifted off if he didn't speak again. "Why do you keep holding on to me? There are things others can give that are way beyond what I can give you. Why are you so stubborn?"

I looked up to him with my tired eyes. "Huh. You're so dumb sometimes, you know that?"

He rolled his eyes.

"I kept you close," I continued. "Because I need you. Remember when I left you for a year? Have you seen me during those days? I was a body without a soul. I was a looking glass with no reflection. I was the sky without its stars."

Pen blinked at me when I took his face in my hand.

"Love, I was nothing without you. So no matter how tired I am. No matter how many piles of paperwork is dumped on my desk. No matter how many other people need my attention, I will always find my way to you because you are my peace of mind. You are my rest. You are my home.

"And I'm sorry if seeing me this tired makes you feel uncomfortable. But I can't thank you enough for being here with me, always."

10.23.2022 🕛