I love you... | Hyunjin x reader

𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙨

- you told me I would never see you walk away

Hyunjin POV

"I'm surprised Y/n had no idea what I was talking about," Seungmin says as we walk around school in our free period, along with Felix.

"That's pretty low of you to not tell her..." Felix adds.

I scoff, "I did not invite you two to walk with me so that I could be lectured about my relationship."

"We're looking out for you Hyunjin," Seungmin starts, "We love Y/n, we want you and her to be together for a long time, so we're just trying to help you not mess it up. You should tell her the truth."

"Kinda sad how you couldn't even tell us though," Felix says, earning an eye roll from me.

"I myself am still figuring things out, guys. Give me a break. This is a huge decision I need to make, I'm under a lot of pressure. I want to tell you and Y/n when I know exactly what is going to happen, okay?"

"Sure," Felix says.

"Sorry, Hyunjin. I get that it must be tough for you at the moment. But don't worry, we're all figuring things out. You aren't alone. I think it's important that you share these important decisions with your close relationships," Seungmin tells me.

I smile at my two friends, pulling them both in for a hug. "I'm so glad I have you guys. You help so much."

- said you'd never break my heart, never leave me in the dark

    As we walked more, I ended up telling Seungmin and Felix what my plans were. Where I was hoping to study, what I wanted to study, and so on.

Seungmin again encouraged me to tell Y/n asap, even if the decisions weren't final. She deserved to know, and I completely agreed with him.
I really want to tell her everything, but I don't tell her, because that means it's becoming real, which is scary. I'm scared, of many things. I should share that with her though. It will make me feel better, I know she will comfort me, and she'll be happy that I've told her.

So that's when I decided to go straight to her class to talk.

Unfortunately I was unable to, so instead we arranged to go for a café date after school to talk.

    I met with Y/n after school and we drove to the nearby café.
It was quiet. There were only about three other people there, which was nice.

Y/n stays silent after we order our drinks and sit down.

"I'm really sorry for not talking to you," I start, "about my plans."

She looks like she might tear up any second now, so I quickly being to explain myself.
"I was planning on telling you eventually. I just didn't want to right away because firstly, It's not confirmed. I'm still deciding on the best decision for me, and believe me, you have been a huge influence in making that decision."

- I guess there's just some promises you shouldn't make

She half smiles, leaning closer to listen to the rest.

"Secondly," I hesitate, because she's sitting there with a loving look in her eyes, for no specific reason, and it makes me feel like my following words will take that away.

"...Telling you would mean that we have to start talking about us. What's going to happen to us, because...I'm not planning on staying here."

As I expected, the loving look fades away.

I think she was waiting for me to say something like that. I think she knew I'd want to go somewhere far.

"Where are you planning on going?"

She takes a small sip of her drink, avoiding eye contact with me.

"Well..After doing some research and talking more about it with my mom, I realized that I'm drawn to NYU. It has a program perfect for my art, and I love the vibe of New York," I tell Y/n.

"Oh...That's..really..nice. I'm happy. For you-"

Within seconds Y/n had broken down across from me. Tears running quickly down her face.

My heart broke seeing her like this.

"Hey," I reach over and take her hand, "It's going to be okay. Everything will turn out as it should."

"I don't want to break up with you," She cries, gaining a some looks from the few other people in the café.
I decide it would be better to continue this conversation in a quieter atmosphere, so I get up and pay for our drinks before taking Y/n to the car.

- should've known from the start

I got her to calm down a little as we drove to my house. It would be best to talk there since no one was home.

♪♪♪

We went inside and made our way to the living room. Y/n sat down on the sofa while I went to get her some water.

"Thanks," she says, her voice shaky from crying.

She drinks some water and puts the glass down on the coffee table before leaning back into the couch.

I rub my hand over her cheeks to wipe away her tears, and lean closer, giving her a soft kiss on her forehead.

"I'm not going to break up with you. The only way we'd ever break up is if you broke up with me," I assure Y/n.

"Hyunjin, how could we possible stay together if you're planning on moving overseas?"

I sigh. She had an obvious point, but I knew that we'd be able to figure something out.

"I'm not doing long distance," she adds, her sobs coming to a halt.

There's a bunch of ideas and thoughts going through my mind. They have been for days now. The more I thought about everything, the more sure I became that I wanted to go to New York. Even my mom was totally on board with it.

A fantastic idea came into my head. Well, it probably had a few flaws, but it's something I'd been thinking of ever since the first conversation Y/n and I had about my studies.

"Come with me then."

"You're hilarious," She says, no laugh apparent.

"I'm serious. Come to New York with me."

- now I'm in the dark

———————
song by anna of the north

I liked writing this chapter