bloodsucker | eren jaeger

venom

zeke sighed next to me, "don't act so disappointed," his voice was icy cold. "disappointed? disappointed doesn't cover it! what the fuck were you thinking?" zeke had already ruined so much in my life; i couldn't be surprised he'd cause more pain. my brain lagged behind the conversation, still trying to grasp what was happening in front of me.

"i was thinking that you're in love with her," the phrase sent a shock through my system. i had never thought about what i felt for y/n. the connection had always been there, i assumed my growing infatuation of her was due to it. was i? no. no, it's not love, the attempt to reason with myself wasn't strong. "zeke, you're so far off," i muttered, not sure if he was.

"i'm not," he was so definite, but my lack of trust in zeke made it impossible to really process his words. "you don't know anything, i'm not in love with her," the words sounded weak leaving my mouth. i wasn't sure what to make of the two of us, but love couldn't be the case.

his tongue ticked on the roof of his mouth, "and now you're lying. you should be happy dad doesn't know about the cabin," he once again caught me off guard. i knew he was always monitoring me closely, but i'd hoped y/n had been masked with our other friends. it's the reason i had to take her so far away just to be alone with her; it's my fault for underestimating how far zeke would go. "i did this for you, eren," he snapped me out of my puzzling thoughts.

"how is this for me?!" my voice picked up again; having the weight of anger behind it. "are you going to sit here and tell me you didn't think about it?" zeke's voice slipped, sounding almost exhausted. it was the first time in years he sounded sincere.
it brought out something in me; clicking something in my brain i couldn't register, "of course i did, but i never would have done it." my head shook, looking back at y/n. her skin startled to pale, all red draining from her face. "i never wanted this for her," i whispered, more to myself.

"exactly. i worked out that kink for you," his tone was back to being eerily cool. the time passed slowly, and i began coming to terms with her impending change. this was real; it really would happen. "everything's gonna change for her, you just made her life so much more complicated," i blabbered yet again to myself.

"like it did for you," it was unexpected to hear from zeke. he was so devoted to our fathers ways, i had never heard him speak of vampirism in a negative tone. there were never any downsides to it; in his eyes. "you deserve some happiness; watching her age as you followed years behind her would've killed you even more." zeke sounded different; his energy had been titled. i couldn't be sure what to make of him. it doesn't really matter, he had brought me so much suffering, nothing would change that fact.

"it doesn't matter, i didn't want this for her." zeke had approached me, assuming it was safe since my hands were preoccupied, "she could want it, though." i hadn't thought about it. but it would be a 'want' she knew nothing about. i wouldn't have turned her even if she begged me. she was the last person who deserved a fate like this. "well, it's not like you fucking asked her opinion!"

he sat on the arm of the couch, looking down on me from a lower distance, "she'll wake up soon enough. you can ask her then. not everyone hates being a vampire as much as you do, eren." i already knew that, but it was a hard pill to swallow regardless. the idea was so fucked i pushed it out quickly. "you really have no reason to be so mad at me," zeke continued in my silence, "after everything i've done for you."

it was hard not to glare in disbelief. done for me? marco's bloody and mangled body shot before my eyes. that wasn't for me, my hands shook in anger, bouncing y/n's lifeless body slightly. "done for me? becoming dad's 'apprentice' was for me?"

"actually it was. god you are so naive," a scoff echoed through my apartment, i looked up to see his eyes roll into his head, "my allegiance to grisha is the only reason he even lets you live a normal life."

"it's hardly normal," a scoff came from my own body. zeke was even more delusional than i thought if he really did feel that way. "it would be even less," his cold tone broke again; revealing the sympathetic undertone. "you're right eren, i shouldn't have bit her. i wouldn't have done it if i felt like there was a better outcome."

my presence put her in danger, but i was cautious. i could've prevented her from being sucked into this life entirely, but zeke ruined that, "now you're really talking nonsense." if my mind wasn't running rampant with anxiety over y/n, i might've been susceptible to what zeke was talking about.

"i'm really not. grisha's lost a few more screws with you gone. i think you might've been the only thing keeping him tied to reality. if he ever found out about your feelings for that 'blood bag'" he mimicked with air quotes, "she'd be as dead as marco." he almost started making sense. grisha was more unhinged than usual on my last visit.. what happens when i'm not there?

zeke's meaning was quickly lost on me, "don't use his fucking name like that." another reminder of marco brought me back to the reality of things. zeke was a vampire, willing to kill for grisha. it didn't matter that his composure was different; somewhat comforting. he would always be a murderer in my eyes. "you've never apologized for that, you know," once again, my mind ran through the memory of his body.

"i'm sorry eren, truly," his words were sincere, but his tone lacked any real remorse, "but i don't care much for your friends. only you, and everything i have done has been for your own sake." my mind blocked out the rest of the 'apology.' "i don't believe you."

his shoulders moved up and down in a shrug, "you don't have to. but i know why i've made the decisions i have." he moved from his position on the couch; i clutched y/n tighter to my body on instinct. "you're expected at home in the coming days," his body was closer to the door in an instant. i had to pivot our position; preventing my back from being turned to him.

"you're fucking kidding," i scoffed. he ignored my whining, "you'll have to bring the new vampire," his lips twitched, like he was fighting back a smile. my features furrowed in a deep scowl. he needed to leave; and i needed to take care of her as much as i could. "tell grisha you changed her yourself, say you gifted her for her generous supplies of blood."

i ignored his humorous excuse, "no. i'm not bringing her there." the only thing worse than her becoming a vampire is being in a closed space full of them; human or not it wasn't a risk i was willing to take.

"neither of you really have the option. if grisha were to find out from someone other than you, he'd kill her. regardless of her vampirism." he made an unfortunate point. grisha would always find out; even if zeke neglected to share the information with him. "so she's dead either way."

"not if you just do as i say!" his composure slipped again, this time showing the anger burning in his eyes. "fuck eren, stop being so stubborn," he growled at me, "she was dead as soon as you got yourself tangled with her, don't blame this on me." once again, i knew he was right. even with the knowledge, i couldn't stop my face from twitching.

i could blame zeke all i wanted for biting her, but it wouldn't have happened if i stayed away. "just.. go," i ran my fingers over her skin. there was hardly any warmth to be felt. "i'll be there," my decision wasn't made, but i needed zeke to leave. now. the slam of the door echoed through the room; the only sign he left.

finally, my brain could think in the silence. y/n was turning right under my hands. her eyelids started to flutter, showing the light pink under her eyes that would eventually fester into a dark purple. the cabin felt like eons ago; now we really would never be able to go back to that. it's all my fault. all i could do now was accept the decisions i made that got both of us here, and hold her closer. at least she wouldn't be alone. not like i was.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

a/n: eren stop blaming yourself for everything challenge go!