Evermore

𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒚 𝒐𝒏𝒆

"Diana, the bar is going slow recently...I can't pay much, I'm sorry, I really am-"

"No, no, it's no problem. Really. Totally my fault, I just came in and threw this on you." I nod my head quickly.

My mind today has been a terrible place, from the moment I woke up, I just didn't want to get out of bed and I was supposed to see my mom at my Grandmas party but I got out of it-but still. Now I feel guilty about Natalie paying for everything.

Then Charlie, god he won't get out of my head.

"At least give the girl a couple of free drinks." The woman a few stools down comments making Floyd laughs.

"What would you like?" He asks me, I look down at my hands...Natalie hasn't let me drink. I haven't seen any alcohol in our house since everything, maybe she's afraid I'll end up coping with alcohol like my parents. I shouldn't-

"Something strong, please. I just need to clear my mind." I smile at him and he looks at me for a second.

"Please." I say and he looks away grabbing a glass and I smile even though I shouldn't. I should go home, but of course, Josephine is there and she kind of admitted she has feelings for me in the car and god-Charlie would love this drama-but also comfort me so well with this-I just need my head cleared.

Just for awhile.

I'm turning to alcohol to do that. But anytime I end up drunk my mind is clear-only stupid thoughts coming to mind but usually I forget ny problems.

So much for Natalie and Charlie convincing me I'm not like my parents.

Floyd sets a glass down in front of me, I smile quickly at him and he goes to step away but he stops.

"Is everything-"

"Yeah, I'm fine, Floyd." I say and he nods.

"Wait actually.." I speak up as he goes to walk away, he stops again looking to me.

"Do you think...that your choices can influence the ones Theo will make when he's older?" I ask and he turns back to me, his eyebrows knotting before he glances over his shoulder to another bartender.

"Can you serve that woman over there, Adrian?" He asks the bartender who nods scurrying off quickly to the woman who sits a few stools down from me.

Floyd looks to me putting his hands on the bar, I pick up the cold glass, trying to cool my nerves off as I look up at him.

"Wait-Do you know that saying people say sometimes? The one about kids who grew up in abusive households? That the cycle continues, like mother like daughter or whatever...do you believe that's true?" I ask, keeping my eyes on the countertop as he taps his finger against it, maybe I'm the one asking questions out of the blue today. But before I drink this stupid drink, I want to know if he will believe I'm like my parents like I do.

"Do you?" He questions and I look up at him, I shrug and he nods.

"No, I don't believe it in the slightest, Diana. I think some kids go through a ton of shit when they're kids, sometimes they can grow up and turn into bad people which can be very influenced by the conditions of which they grew up in. But I don't think that's the case for everyone, I don't think it's the case for most abused kids. I think if an abused child grows up and has children and lays their hand on that child, that was influenced by nobody but caused by their anger and their lack of control on it. I get angry, very angry like everybody does sometimes but what's important is that I control that anger, especially around Theo and Arabella." He tells me and I nod trying to understand what he means.