Evermore {wlw}

𝐒𝐢𝐱𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧

My hand stays as still as possible as I make my way to my office, balancing my cup of coffee while holding Dorothea in my other hand. I can't go into my office without her over these last few days. She cries at the door, waiting for me to let her in.

I should write or do some bit of work while I'm in here, but I don't think I will be able to, not today. I find it almost impossible to concentrate when Diana comes home, that's because she either distracts me, or my mind is too focused on her. And today, she is all that's on my mind while she's not even here. I seem to become more obsessed with her each time she comes back, and it only makes the goodbye more difficult.

It's her last day now, and ironically the only day Rory was free to see her and Charlie. So Diana, Charlie, Rory and Rory's girlfriend are shopping. I swear, Diana spent ten minutes just talking about Rory's girlfriend's hair last night. I told her to dye her hair pink, and she sat up and went on for another ten minutes about how she couldn't pull it off.

She could, I tried to explain that, but Diana was hyper and wouldn't let me get a word in. I didn't attempt to cut in too much because I truly was listening to what she said, even though I didn't agree with it. God, I'm going to miss listening to go on and on. I'll still hear it over the phone, but it's not the same. She gets so into what she speaks about sometimes that she must sit up to speak. I won't get to just listen and hold eye contact with her while she does, she doesn't even get nervous because she's so fixated on what she speaks about.

Now, I'm just waiting until she comes home so we can cling to each other until tomorrow. I say I'm not clingy until it comes to the last day with her, I never want to let her go. She always says she's going to drop out, that she's not going back to college. While I want to agree and hold her forever, I can't because if I did, she would actually do it.

All I did for her this morning was bring her breakfast and flowers. I usually get her a stuffed animal, but none of them caught my eye. She enjoyed her breakfast though. I don't like to eat in the morning, but she shoved the bagel into my mouth before I could protest.

Usually, we have a chill day for her last day. We stay in our pyjamas, sometimes we spend the whole day in the living room, watching movies. One time, I ordered pizza because she said she would try it again. There was a look of pure disgust as she tried to eat a slice. I ordered her other food because I knew she wouldn't end up eating it, and she would get all grumpy if she didn't eat.

People have also come over to see my engagement ring over the last couple of days. Diana has proudly told everyone about how my mom loved her so much the first day they met, that she gave her the engagement ring my dad proposed to my mom with. She did drag me to Floyd and Arabella's house, Arabella was holding my hand for five minutes, smiling as she looked at the ring.

Diana has tried her best to be the one holding my hand out to people, so that they don't take my hand to get a closer look. It's not her being jealous, she just knows how much I hate people touching me.

We did go to my mom's place yesterday, I wanted to check in with her again since my dad passed. It was Diana's second time meeting my mom and she left with plenty of kisses from her. My mom now sees Diana as her own. She absolutely adores her and it's obvious. She sat down with Diana, not even looking at the ring as Diana told her how she proposed. Other people got a different story, just so things didn't get so awkward.

So Diana has won my mom's heart over, the two of them were laughing the whole time. It made me happy, to see them laughing together, but also to simply see my mom smiling. She did tell me that Carson has been staying over at her place once or twice a week. I didn't know about that, but apparently Anna has been really understanding, as well as Lilah. Carson has offered my mom a room at his place, she just refuses to leave her house and the memories in it go.