Total Drama Action (Lewis McLean)

The Chefstank Redemption

"Lockdown, people! Let's get this challenge started! Teams, take a prisoner from the competition. And, Chef- I mean... Warden... lock 'em up." Apparently for this challenge, Chef was going by Warden. I mean, I'm totally respective of names, but he's not a warden. He's a chef. While the two teams were talking amongst each other, I was busy on my phone, trying to get through as much fan mail as I could.

I didn't realize turning my phone off for a week could have such... well, I don't want to say 'consequences', but I'm getting a lot of notifications from me-crazy girls, and it's really annoying. I don't know why, but they want something called, like, 'fitless pics' of me. No clue what that is.

"Choices? Gaffers?" Dad asked, turning his head to the Gaffers. "Lindsay!" Heather confidently said, pointing towards Lindsay. The shame was, she thought it was a prize. "Yay! I win!" "Uh... huh." I spoke slowly, glancing up from my phone, before returning my focus back down on the latter. My dad then turned his head towards the Grips. "Grips? Now, remember, this is an important choice. Especially for perennial losers, like yourselves."

Beth seemed rather confident with her choice. That made me incredibly suspicious, just from her tone. "Oh, we shouldn't have any trouble beating... Gwen." Ah. I see her confidence, then. They're making her pay back the favour she owed. Gwen, in response to this, gulped nervously. "Today's first game is... the prison chow-llenge!" He pulled a cloth off of this big box to reveal that the box was actually full to the brim of stuff he'd just ripped out of compost. "Each team of prison chefs whips up the foulest, nastiest, most barf-inducing slop this side of Alcatraz. Gwen and Lindsay have to stomach as much as they can. Last one to power-hurl, wins!"

"I- I can't! I'm innocent, I tell you! Innocent!" Both Gwen and Lindsay were forced into cages, which I thought was a little unorthodox, but hey, I'm not hosting. "That's what they all say."

/// Gwen ///

"I know I owe the the Grips because of Trent's cheating, but even if we forget Lindsay's shampoo incident, last night, she nearly hurled because Leshawna's gums smelled too 'minty fresh'. How am I gonna puke before that?!"

/// End ///

We hadn't even started the challenge yet, and Lindsay was retching. "Gross. Oh, no." Gwen sighed, and frowned. "That reward better be worth it." Dad simply responded with: "Have I ever let you down?" I glanced at him with uncertainty, which gave him the answer. "You know what? Scratch that. Anyway, the winning team gets this!" He held up a golden shovel. I was just as confused as everyone else. "Uh... what are they gonna do with a shovel?"

/// Harold ///

"Everybody knows that more wards have been won with a shovel than with a sword. Give a man a hole, and what does he have? Nothing. But, give a man a shovel, and he can dig a hole to contain that nothing."

/// End ///

"Prisoners ready? And... culminate!" Literally, the fastest I have ever seen a group of people rush to touch something disgusting. Duncan went straight for the roaches, which didn't surprise me, since he tried to hack one in half with an axe first episode of Total Drama Island. Harold had found a can of, like, tuna or something from somewhere, because we had obviously not been offering that up as an option, but, whatever. He also put some other gross stuff in too, which, to be fair, Leshawna was horrified by.

"WHERE do you even get these things?!" She said, wide-eyed, walking up to the table. "Yeah, where did you get those things, Dad?" I questioned, narrowing my eyes, but he completely dodged the question, and whistled innocently as if he did nothing wrong. "They're obviously imported. Gosh!" Harold rolled his eyes as he walked off, followed by Leshawna.