TRUCE

CHAPTER 1 : IN BETWEEN

I was once a believer. I talk to Him for almost everyday, yes at the moment  I wake up and before I go to sleep. I could say that I was very religious since my parents were a very much believer. They kind of influenced me as a child. But now at this point of my life. When I turn a teen ager, it all goes on different way.

I no longer pray and I doubt myself If I still believe to the Almighty. But anyways, guess what? Im praying right now. Ito ang araw na ibibigay na ang test results ng aming midterms exam. This is the last exam na hindi ko pa alam ang aking score. So far, sa mga minor subjects ay satisfied naman ako sa grades na natanggap ko. Pero rito sa major subject? UGH i don't know anymore dahil hindi ko matatanggi na mahirap itong subject.

Im a first year college student and im currently taking communication. I was about to take psychology but during the interview they found something in me, maybe potential or a possibility that I could be a good communicator. Maybe I am, since I mentioned during the interview that I love reading and writing and Im an experienced public speaker. Maybe you would think that I am that kind of extrovert friend that you can have. But sadly NO, im in between. I am a mixture of introvert and extrovert. Some people debate that it is imposible. Because you could only be able be either introvert or extrovert, NO IN-BETWEEN. Whatever, im a gay and not-so-gay, I like to classified myself as NON-BINARY. Im not so sure about that but that is the nearest possible gender I could explain myself. So whatever about being extro and intro.

When our professor handed me my test paper. I fold it instantly refusing to see my score. I knew that I did bad on this test since I didn't have much time to review. And there was a lot of stuff to memomize so yeah I knew in the first place that Im gonna fail my major subject. I hate it, I kinda secured all of the minor subjects which there are 6 of them but I failed to focus on my 1 major subject. Im all screwed up. I can't fail this one PLEASE GOD.

I'm an agnostic which is another in between of a believer and a non believer. That's how I understand it and I just probably heard it from someone and read it somewhere and I was like "Yeah that's probably me". As I mentioned, my grandma and my mother was very religious. They don't skip sunday's mass. And every night they pray together sa sala namin. Well I used to be like them. But now, it's all different. Not because society or whatever influence could influence me. But none of them is, It was my choice from my experience.

But during this time, whenever that I am afraid or unsure of something. I remember Him, which is some sort of hypocrisy of me. But yea, Im literally praying mumbling Please God. And one two three, I took a peak on my test paper.

Before I reveal what I just saw on it. Please don't judge me, I review everything obviously I was focused on my minor subjects and I did failed to read and familiarize everything on my one major subject. I lost time, which means that I didn't have enough of time to review for my speech and oral. So I think you can't judge my 61% on my test paper.

FUCK. God must hate me. And then boogsh, Im a non believer once again. I saw my friend Sivir from the other side of the classroom. And based on what I am currently seeing on her. She's sort of proud of her scores. I envy her, I mean we both did passed our minor subjects but the only difference that we got right now, is she passed our major subject and I am not.

Our proof instructed us that she will be calling our names one by one to have one look of our final midterms grades. Which means, it is the result of our quizzes, projects, seatwork scores and this stupid midterms exams in my hand. I'm a little confident about my other scores in this subject and I never missed one class. Plus one thing, people say that Im the best in recitation. Well im admitting it, if I know the answer I would never lose a chance to raise my hand.

Sivir was called first before me and after she saw her grade. She looks at me and beam a wide smile. I smiled back to show support. But the truth is, it just makes me more concious about my grades. Please I hope I don't fail or atleast it can't be below 2.5. I swear to whoever is up there, Im gonna kill hundreds of cockroaches.