Destined: A Stony Fanfic - ON HOLD

Chapter 4

Steve.

Steve?

Man, he's so gone.

The familiar voices of Natasha and Sam bring me back to reality. I realize I've been gazing at the mirror for several minutes and now nearby drinkers are shooting me strange looks. I look up at Nat's face, her brows creased with concern.

"You back, Steve?" She asks while Sam stands back, chuckling. I just nod and turn back to my white knuckles gripping the empty glass in front of me. Thoughts and questions fly through my head. How much of that was real and how much did I imagine? Why would I imagine that? I push the cup towards the bartender and place the money on the table. I go to get up but find Natasha still staring me down.

"What happened to you? Tony walks over and a few minutes later, you're staring off into space. What did he say?" Her eyes burn into me more than her questions do, which makes me all the more hesitant to answer. So I say nothing, push her aside, and make a beeline for the door - or the best I could do amidst the bodies of the drunk and horny. I shove through the people and stare straight ahead, occasionally looking back to ensure that Sam and Nat are following behind. With one last glance over my shoulder, I spot him. He's talking to that girl, but that's all they're doing. Just talking. For some reason, this stops me dead in my tracks. I hardly register the warm hand placed lightly on my shoulder and Sam's voice seems muddled in my ears. What is wrong with me? Suddenly my legs are moving on their own, my head still a blur. I vaguely hear Sam and Nat jogging to catch up to me while I turn the corner to wait for them by the car. They catch up and before anyone can say anything, I unlock the doors and we all get in - Sam and Nat up front while I settle in the backseat. The ride is silent and feels impossibly long. At last, we pull up to my safe house and Natasha makes one last attempt to get me to communicate. She fails as I slam the car door to block out any words.

I unlock the door and let it close behind me, immediately waiting to hear them leave. It takes a few minutes, but eventually the engine fades away. I don't waste any time, nearly jogging to the bathroom and turning on the shower as hot as it will go. Then I lean against the sink, feeling the steam slowly drench me. Once it's nearly unbearably hot in the room, I turn the temperature down, undress, and step in, inhaling sharply at the scorching water hitting my back. The water finally cools a bit and I relax. I refuse to let my mind start thinking so I just stand as long as possible under the stream of warm water before it turns cold. Reluctantly, I turn off the water and grab the towel on the rack, drying off and heading to the bedroom to change. I barely get a chance to settle into bed before my mind starts running with all the questions: what is wrong with me? Why am I imagining things like...kissing Stark? Of all people, Stark! I know I can't get drunk, but can the drinks still affect me somehow? I turn over on my side, deciding that must be the answer. Dr. Erskine must not have anticipated that there could still possibly be some side effects of alcohol.

Satisfied, I settle in and prepare to drift off to sleep. Brown eyes suddenly pop into my mind. Tony's eyes. My own shoot open. Why, why, why? What's going on? I do not have feelings for him! I get up and start pacing. He's rude and arrogant, not to mention extremely sarcastic. He has no respect for anyone. There should be nothing that draws me to him! I stop and replay that sentence in my head. Frustrated, I correct it out loud. "There is nothing that draws me to him. Nothing." I lay back down and stare at the ceiling, recalling my nightmare from a few nights ago. I was fighting something. I couldn't tell what. But I was the only one fighting. The rest of the team either died or was simply missing. Whatever I was fighting suddenly disappeared and I was suddenly in the middle of a field. I whirled around, expecting an attack from behind, but there was nothing there. I stood, waiting. Then I heard some strange sound to my left and turned just in time to be thrown to the ground. I felt around for my shield but realized I never had it with me. The thing jumped on me and we fought for what felt like hours. Finally, I managed to pin it down and grab it by the neck - I think it was the neck - and choke it. I hated to do it so painfully but it was all I could do. Just before it was over with, the figure came into focus. I jumped up and stared down at the limp body. I woke up, but not before I recognized the face.

It was Tony.

It had scared me, but I couldn't tell why. I originally thought it meant I was scared of losing the team or something along that line. Now, I think I understand. It meant, maybe, that I was scared of losing Tony. I lay in bed, allowing that to sink in. Was it true? I mean, yes, he's self-centered and commanding. But he's smart. Not that I'd tell him that. I chuckle despite myself. He gets us into a lot of trouble, but he's clever and a natural leader. Strong, fit, pretty good hair. He does remind me of his dad sometimes. I shudder at the thought. Don't go there. Don't ruin your opinion of Howard like that. The quiet is at once almost too much. I click my phone on and go to the new app Nat showed me. The Pandora screen greets me and I wait for it to load. The first song comes on and it's one I haven't heard yet. She's going out to forget they were together, all that time, he was taking her for granted. Weird. I keep listening though. Then it gets to the chorus: Everybody put up your hands, say I don't wanna be I love, I don't wanna be in love. I groan in frustration and shut it off to allow the silence to return. Of all things that could pop up on the station, that has to be it? I sigh and roll over again. As sleep takes me, one thought rolls through my head - It's a dumb song anyway.

(A/N: So sorry that took forever to update!! I'll try to do better with that. Omg! 1.1k reads?!? You guys are awesome! Keep the feedback coming! I'll try to update every two weeks if I know you guys are still interested. Thanks so much! Stay strong lovelies!! <3 =^w^= )