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68

{more incorrect quotes; happy thanksgiving to those who celebrate!}

wilbur: you'd look hot with short hair, just saying
y/n: i've had short hair before
wilbur: you'd look hot with long hair too, grow it out that's hot as fuck
y/n: ...
wilbur: or cut it that's really hot
y/n: are you afraid to say things to me sometimes?
wilbur: just don't cut it, but if you cut it that's so hot
•••
dream team walking into the crematorium to check the body one last time.

george: so no other infos?
y/n talking to one of the employees: you guys take walk-ins?
dream, visibility worried: Y/N?!
•••
y/n, bleeding out after getting stabbed: this is totally not tubular dude bro
techno: please for the love of god say something else those cannot be your last words

•••
y/n: why's tommy holding a plant?
philza: wilbur's making him carry it around to replace all the oxygen he's wasting.
y/n: ...is it working?
wilbur: no.

•••
billzo: might put a fork in an outlet and call it a day...
y/n ...
aimsey walking in: what's up?
y/n: my blood pressure. BILLZO-

•••
philza: what part of your day takes you the longest?
tommy: taking a shower.
niki: my skincare routine.
y/n: finding the will to live.
philza:...
tommy:...
niki: love, what?
wilbur: mm, i feel you.

•••
phil: so, who is responsible for this?
tubbo: i...i found it like th-
philza i know, tubbo. i wasn't asking you.
philza, looks pointedly at wilbur, y/n and tommy: who. did. this.
y/n, cannot handle unresolved tension: ...i did it. i'm sorry.
philza i don't believe you. *stares at tommy*
tommy, offended: it wasn't me!
philza: I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!!
wilbur, did it: yeah, what the fuck, tommy.

•••
dream, either disappointed or amused: i can't believe you and sapnap broke the bed last night.
george , had to stifled his giggles: must've been a wild night, eh?
karl, silently drinking monster (totally not secretly judging):
sapnap, nervous: haha... yeah...
*flashback*
y/n: bet you can't jump high enough to touch the ceiling!
sapnap: try me!

•••
quackity: what the fuck is wrong with you?!?
y/n, whipping out a thick ass stack of files: i'm so glad you asked!!!

•••
wilbur, trying to cook some toast: wow... today is pretty peaceful.
wilbur: .....
wilbur, realizing: where's y/n and tommy?!?

•••
y/n: are you a cuddler?
techno: i'm a machine of pain and death.
y/n: ...
techno: .. yeah i'm a cuddler

•••
purpled: promise you'll tell me the truth?
y/n: yes
purpled: did you finish your homework?
y/n: wait- no... dare!

•••
punz: you tryna hang?
y/n: yeah, myself.
sapnap: NO-

•••
techno: and then they ran into my knife. they ran into my knife ten times.
wilbur: you mean you stabbed them?
techno: they ran into my knife.

•••
y/n: i got good news and bad news, which do you wanna hear first
karl: the good news?
y/n: i'm never doing it again

•••
wilbur: do you seriously have zero self preservation instincts?!?
y/n: nope. i see human mount everest and i must climb it.
wilbur: ......

•••
philza: i'm a bit disappointed. i expected more out of you.
tommy: now why in the world would you ever have high expectations when it comes to me? truly that's on you.

•••
ranboo: you- you're wearing my jacket...
y/n: yep!
ranboo: ....take it off.
y/n: huh
ranboo: TAKE IT OFF ITS MINE YOU HAVE YOUR OWN
y/n: NO I WANNA WEAR IT AND ITS COLD

•••

aimsey: have you ever considered you might have issues?
billzo in a hotdog costume sipping coke at 2am: i don't follow.

•••
y/n: i'm incredibly fast at math.
schlatt: alright, what's 30x17?
y/n: 47
schlatt: that's not even close.
y/n: but it was fast.

•••
karl: what's you darkest desire?
y/n: i wanna stare at someone from across the street, then disappear when a bus passes

•••
wilbur: tip, spice up your panic attacks with a harmonica
fundy: wilbur no
wilbur: wilbur yes

•••
niki: hey, do you have a bag i could use?
y/n: the only bags i have are the ones under my eyes, and they're specifically designed to carry the burden of my existence
niki: literally, all you had to say was no

•••
Wheel of Fortune Puzzle: _UCK   _E   _N   THE   A__   TON_GHT
wilbur: luck be in the air tonight.
y/n: well i defiantly guessed that answer horribly wrong.

•••
y/n, reading graffiti: "i fucked your mom shitless, roman's 12:24"
sapnap: yeah, i'm pretty sure i remember that one in the bible

•••
y/n: can we go to sonic tonight?
y/n: shakes are 1.99 right now.
karl, raising an eyebrow: i thought you were lactose intolerant?
y/n: not at that price.

•••
wilbur, dramatically: you either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.
y/n:
y/n: you're  such a fuckin' nerd mate

•••
tubbo: if i fall down these stairs, i'm just going to lay down and accept my fate.

•••
y/n: you're  drunk.

wilbur: correction: drinking. present tense. grammar, y/n.

•••
techno: get your hand off my shield!
y/n: there's like a million other shields.
techno: take that one, it has a flower on it. girls like flowers.
y/n, hitting him with the shield: oops! now this one has blood on it!

•••
tommy: look at my face, how can anyone spend time around it and not fall in love?
y/n: well at some point, that face starts talking.

•••
wilbur : phil, there's a play being written about my life and they want you to play my father
philza: i don't want to be your father
wilbur: perfectly, you already know your lines!

•••
philza: i hope you two have an explanation for this.
y/n: actually we have three.
techno: that way you can pick your favorite!

•••
y/n: i'm scared of clowns.
sapnap : looking in a mirror must be horrible.

•••
punz: there's a thin line between being a genius and being a fucking idiot.
punz: y/n uses that line as a jump rope.

•••
(i mean to post this on thanksgiving...)