Psychopathy

Chapter 75- The Clinic

She didn't want to have an abortion, not really. But she also didn't want to have a baby. She didn't want to end the pregnancy, but she didn't want to go through with it, either. And that left her stuck between a rock and a hard place, trying to figure out which would be the lesser of two evils.

As the two women approached the clinic, she thought of all the advice she'd gotten from her friends and family. Some only told her that it was her choice, but some had spoken their opinions. JJ was against the abortion, but she had promised that she wouldn't hate Ciara or think less of her if she went through with it. All she asked was that Ciara give it some thought. Garcia had suggested choosing a compromise- going through with the pregnancy and then giving the baby up for adoption.

It was Teresa's advice, though, that truly made Ciara stop and think. When Ciara broke the news, she thought she was going to get whiplash from the pendulum of emotions her sister felt. She would go from crying over the fact that Ciara was in that situation to absolutely thrilled at the prospect of being an aunt and back again all in a matter of seconds. But her advice had rung true. Teresa could have chosen to not take Ria in. She could have chosen to be afraid that Ria would end up like Liana, or even her unknown birth father. But she hadn't, and Ria had been the greatest blessing in her life.

She didn't tell Ciara that she had to go through with her pregnancy because Teresa had gone through with fostering Ria. She simply told her that it was something to keep in mind when making her decision, and honestly, that made Ciara even more confused than she already was. Not that she was going to admit that to her sister.

"Motherfucker," Akilah cursed when they pulled into the parking lot the clinic had instructed them to go to. "Don't they have anything better to do on a Saturday?" Ciara nervously looked out of the window, her breath catching in her throat. There was a mob outside of the clinic, protesting against abortion. Didn't they know that abortions weren't the only service the clinic provided? Akilah was there to get her fucking IUD changed. And besides, who were they to judge Ciara? They didn't know her story. They didn't know the shit she had gone through, and she wasn't about to go and justify her choices to a complete stranger.

There was a fenced-off walkway connecting the parking lot to the clinic, protecting the women visiting the clinic from the mob of protestors. Akilah held her head high as she exited the car, and Ciara had to wonder if she had faced something similar when she had the first IUD placed. Ciara pulled on her hoodie, hoping it was baggy enough to hide her bump from herself and the protesters.

Ciara finally got out of the car, and that was when it hit her. The noise. In the car, it was just a slight buzz, like a fly was trapped somewhere in the car. Annoying and inconvenient. But outside of the car, it was amplified into a roaring din. So many voices all shouting something different. It rang in Ciara's ears and quickly overwhelmed her. For a second, she considered diving back into the car and missing the appointment just to avoid the noise. Akilah stopped when she saw Ciara frozen, walking back with concern on her face.

"Anaha bisawt eal jidana [It's too loud]," Ciara said, and Akilah looked back at the protesters, her nose crinkling in distaste.

"Hal ladayk samaaeat 'iilgha aldawada'i? [Do you have your noise-canceling headphones?]"

"Laqad taraktuhum fi almanzil [I left them at home]," Ciara responded. She and Akilah hadn't spoken to each other in Arabic since Before, and Ciara was a little surprised at how easily it slipped off of her tongue. She'd forced herself to practice speaking in other languages during Halsey, of course, but she hadn't had a conversation in any of them in After. But when she needed to speak to Akilah without the fear of the protesters knowing what she was saying, she slipped easily into the other language. In a way, it was their safe word. Especially because no one else on the team knew Arabic.