Astania Reviews

Kae | Dear Myrtle Cove

General Thoughts I Had While Reading

Chapter One:

I wonder why Jake is so late.

Ooh, thirteen calls? Someone is in big trouble!

Are Jack and Jackie related? Their names are so similar!

So, I liked the beginning backstory paragraphs! I do think there's a bit too much from the start though. I think the paragraph ending on "but there was good. Sometimes." Is enough, and what comes afterward feels like too much to know from chapter one.

Who is Carol? I think there are a lot of names and people: Jack, Jackie, Lainey's mother and father, Lincoln, and Carol. It's kind of difficult to keep track of so early on in the story. I'd suggest taking out the ones that aren't totally necessary at this stage.

"It's embedded in my mind like a name is for a gravestone" - good line!

At this stage, I think I am lost in the backstory and information being provided all at once. I don't feel as though all of it is necessary, and it breaks the flow of the conversation. I had to scroll back to remember what Jackie was saying before the backstory was given, so that I could follow what was happening in Lainey's current situation while trying to understand her backstory too. I think all of this information is important, story-wise, but not necessary at this point. A good way to build suspense is by hinting at backstory and detailing it gradually so that a reader's interest is focused on figuring out what happened to Lainey. Then, we read on because we want to know more.

For example, when she mentions her injury: I think this is a good detail, though one that is explained a bit too much, and with a lot of information that isn't ultimately needed for chapter one. One way to hint at this is to have Lainey show that she's in pain while she works (say, she breaks a glass and needs to pick it up, and her hip flares, for example). The narration can then explain that her pain was caused by an injury, but it doesn't need to tell us yet that she had to take out loans and get a lawyer. Those are details that can come afterward, once the tension has been established, so that a reader continues onward because they want to find out what happened.

Chapter Two:

"verdant tendrils" - that's good stuff!

I am a bit confused why this chapter begins with the description of her apartment when Lainey is still in the diner. The beginning makes it sound as though she'd gone home. It's a wonderful description, though I wonder if it would be better integrated elsewhere. Perhaps later in the chapter, once she heads home?

There's some great information given to us when Lainey says offhandedly what the mystery man's eyes remind her of. It's a good way to give readers backstory without being overt. This is something I think the first chapter could utilize as well. It's just enough detail that a reader understands it, and it paints a nice picture.

Oh, I like the relationship between Lainey and her brother. Lainey needs someone on her side, I think, and I always like when siblings can get along in a story. It's nice that she feels like her grudge doesn't matter, as long as he's there. That's a good character moment between them.

I find it interesting that Lainey thinks she isn't seen as weak because boys allowed her to be with them. I wonder, is her confidence coming from being perceived as one of the guys? What happened to her was awful, but I have to wonder if she's seeking out that validation from the men in her life because of it. It's very realistic, and having her POV really helps understand that viewpoint.

I really feel for Lainey. She's been through so much.

An aside, and perhaps a question that will be addressed later: the first chapter mentions her mother calling her multiple times, and then that topic doesn't really come up again here. Is Lainey still getting calls? Has her mother texted, too? If these get answered in the following chapters, then that's fine, but I was wondering what happened to this since it hadn't come up again.