Smut & Imagines | Kian Lawley

Acting Time [Dirty]

Acting is so much fun and also interesting but when you end up in a movie with a handsome guy, on a bed, with him on top of you, filming your new movie, and you like him a lot - it gets tough and messed up, especially when there are feelings involved. That was my exact situation. I loved acting to death and experiencing new things throughout my job was what I lived for but recently I couldn't think straight and my job was pulling on my nerves.

I was shooting a new movie, which definitely was the next level for me. It included some sex scenes, no problem, I assured myself from the beginning on, but I was wrong I haven't met this handsome guy named Kian Lawley yet and also never have I guess I would fall for him as hard as I did in the first place.

We got closer from one week to the other we had to spend together and got along pretty well. Kian had the best sense of humor and on top of that: he looked like a god. He was definitely every single woman's dream. However everything between us was going well, we were talking on set, getting along and going out for dinner after work one day or even two days in a row until I started catching feelings towards him which I couldn't deny. I couldn't tell him, though, as I knew he didn't feel the same towards me and having that ruling our friendship was the last thing I wanted.

Therefore, whenever I had to shoot with Kian I would panic and in order to they forget my entire part and end up completely embarrassed and as red as a tomato. This usually never happened before but this guy had something that was pretty intimidating and I didn't knew how to resist him and the power he had over me. It was just that he made me go insane and being aware of all the upcoming sex scenes we still had to finish shooting, didn't make the tensions between us any better. No guy had ever had such an effect on me until I met him. Kian was just someone else and I wanted him in my life and to call him mine. I wanted to be able to do the stuff we did for the big screen, off screen and in private but with true feelings, love and passion.

He was on top of me, it was the fourth take already and I - once again - kept messing up my lines. We had been filming sex scenes the past few days almost non stop but I just didn't seem to get on with the situation. I was mostly insecure with myself and my poor performance. My hands would start sweating and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I didn't want to embarrass myself all over again like almost every day, especially not to embarrass myself in front of him all over again and again. The movie director was explaining some further details to us and what we could improve but I didn't even listen, I was too caught up in my own mindset, trying to congregate my thoughts somehow. For me, it soon started to feel like everyone was fed up with having to repeat each scene at least ten times and I was slightly upset.

Kian held me flush against his body, pressed into him. Holy hell. His hand slid down to my thigh before his fingers moving across my skin and giving me shivers. 'This isn't real.' I reminded myself. I grabbed the back of his neck causing him to groan as I felt Kian's hard on pushing against my leg. Shit, this was pure teasing. It felt so real and I totally got lost in my thoughts which 24/7 consisted completely of him.

Kian then positioned himself between my legs and I brought my legs up on each side of his lower back, wrapping them around him. I wanted to feel him, every ounce of him in that exact moment, longing for some passionate touch, but this wasn't the purpose of this and it made me go insane, I wanted to explode - my hormones were a complete mess. We were so close, yet so far. My feelings were a total wreck yet I didn't knew what to feel and how to handle the position I found myself in.

"I love you." Kian breathed, his lips never disconnecting from mine while he continued to rub himself against me, so it looked as real as just possible. In that moment, I almost forgot that this wasn't about feelings or real love making - it was only acting. The way his gaze burnt into mine, you couldn't deny that there were some sort of sparkles between us. For a split second it felt like those words did mean more and were the truth and he did mean what he said.