our beginning // harry jowsey and rylee arnold

eight

After our post-show interviews, Harry asked if we could speak. And although I wanted to say no, I knew that we couldn't continue this show like this. So I nodded, telling him to meet me in my trailer in 10 minutes while I went to change.

There was so much I wanted to say to Harry, but I didn't know where to start. He knocked on my door, startling me at first as if I didn't know he was coming. I dragged myself to the door, my heart beating fast as I opened it. I was nervous about all of this.. I just hoped we'd be able to find peace and agree on something.

"I.. um.." As we both sat on the couch, it seemed as if Harry didn't know where to start. He cleared his throat as he scratched the back of his head. "I'm sorry Rylee.. I don't know what else to say or do but to apologize." He said, his words feeling genuine.

"I never want to feel like this again, how I've felt this week. I don't want to be in the same room as you and feel like I can't touch you or be around you, or joke around like we always do. I miss you, I miss us, and I know this is all my fault and Im sorry." He said. It was his fault, this was all of his fault and for what reason? I still don't even know what happened the night after we kissed. What had changed so suddenly..

"I.. I honestly don't even care about my feelings anymore, I just want to be able to be cordial, and at least be friends. Something has to give if we're gonna continue to do well on this show." I said, lying. Of course I was lying, of course I cared about my feelings, and I cared about him. I cared so much.. but I felt like I had to put this wall up. I was scared to be vulnerable anymore.

"But I do care.. I'm sorry, I am so sorry for how I acted this week, especially after that special night that we shared. I don't know what took over me.. I'm scared Ry. I'm so scared to hurt you, and I don't want people to think I'm taking advantage of you because those are not my intentions. I don't even know how to act around you because I've never felt this way about any other girl in my life.. you make me the happiest man alive. You're selfless, understanding, funny, joyful.. I mean the way you can really light up any room you walk into.. you complete me Rylee, and I don't want to lose you.. I can't lose you."

I fell silent after his words, being in awe for a moment about how he felt. It wasn't often that he expressed how he was feeling, but this was nice. However, it didn't take away the fact that he still acted like an ass all week and I couldn't forgive him this easily.

"I'm still learning how to be the right guy for you, Rylee. You deserve only the best."

"Well the way you've been acting is not the way." I said, being snappy for a moment but instantly feeling bad. He was trying, and I appreciated that.

"I know, but.. ok i'm just gonna be honest, Rylee, im learning how to control myself around you in every way. Every relationship i've been in has been so sexual, i don't know how to lead with my feelings, i've never felt all of these feelings before. And I want to do things right, you deserve that. I'm just learning.. i'm sorry, and i know i'm not perfect but i want to be for you."

I couldn't help but smile as I hugged him, finally giving in. He had all of these feelings that he didn't know what to do with, but he had all of the right intentions. Heck if he was scared, I was freaking terrified. All I wanted to do was be perfect for him too, with us being so different, it was hard for me to not want to become the type of woman that I thought he wanted, one's that he had dated in the past..

But all I had to do was be myself, that was enough.

"It's okay.." I said as I leaned back from the hug and placed my hand on his cheek. "We're both still navigating around how we feel and in what direction this relationship is going to move. It's a lot but we both care about each other and that's enough." I said, Harry smiling as he moved his face towards my hand, leaving a kiss on it.

He pulled me closer to him so I was now sitting on his lap as he wrapped his arms around my waist. "You're absolutely perfect and even though I probably don't deserve you, I am the luckiest man alive." He said sweetly. But I was just as lucky.

I thanked him as I wrapped my arms around his neck, now being the one to kiss him. I wanted him to know I wasn't just a little girl. I could also go after what I wanted.. and I wanted him.

I kissed him deeply and passionately as his hands caressed my back, Harry pulling me closer to him. I couldn't help but smile before pulling away, this just felt right and perfect. A perfect ending to another amazing night.

~ harry pov

I was smiling ear to ear now that we had finally resolved all of our issues. I couldn't believe that I had even let Brett get in my head when I knew I had the perfect girl in front of me. Rylee was all I wanted and needed in my life.

As I cuddled her in my arms, my phone vibrated. I peaked at it as it was a message from my manager reading: tickets secured.

Wow, if this wasn't the best timing. This was the perfect pick-me-up, and I couldn't wait to tell Rylee about it.

"I actually have a surprise for you." I said as Rylee perked up, her eyes shining as she awaited for me to tell her what it was.

"I knew you would love this, so I secured us tickets to the Taylor Swift Era's movie premiere!!" When I first heard that her premiere would be in LA, I knew I had to secure tickets for Rylee.

"No way Harry.." she said as she stood up, gasping, her hands covering her mouth. "Tell me you're lying right now!!!" She said as I laughed and shook my head.

She screamed, jumping up and down before she pulled me up with her and jumped into my arms. She kissed me before thanking me. I laughed as I told her there was nothing to thank me for.

"Date night, it's gonna be so much fun!! We get to dress up for the red carpet and all." I said, giving her details as I got to watch her fan girl. She was just so cute.

"Harry, you are so forgiven!" She said, making us both laugh. I knew this would cheer her up, and it made me so happy to make her smile this hard. She deserved this and more. As long as I was with Rylee, I wanted to give her the world.